Would you like an extra spouse with that?

[jimmy eat jazz]

I used polygamy because it is the non-gender term.

Polygamy and polyandry of very distinct things, and I doubt many people in discussing 'polygamy' have polyandry as part of their frame of reference.

Also, how people here feel about polygamy (mostly men here) will often be quite different than how they feel about polyandry, particularly since it is far easier for them to imagine how they'd feel about the latter than the former. (People tend to be much less in favor of something if they perceive they be the ones disadvantaged/oppressed/inconvenienced/etc. as a result.)

 

[scootsy]

this may sound strange, but i wouldn't mind being in polyandrous marriage. i'm a loner at heart. i only need one child. i have my dog. i could watch all the football i want.

 

[HipHopAnonymous]

My wife and I had an open marriage briefly, but monogamy works better for both of us.

Go on....

 

[jimmy eat jazz]

I used polygamy because it is the non-gender term.

Actually little known by LDS faithful, there were, I believe, instances of polyandry in LDS history. This was not some offshoot Mormon sect but mainstream members during, I believe, the Nauvoo period.

For whatever it's worth.

 

[jimmy eat jazz]

Go on....

If a couple wants an open marriage, and both agree absent coercion or manipulation, more power to them. Probably not the kind of marriage I would want, as I tend to see that it can't be maintained and create the level of trust/intimacy that I think a successful marriage requires. But I suppose there are couples that make it work and are happy with it.

 

[leftyjace]

I have discussed polygamy with many female friends. What I relate is a lot of feedback from them.

I hate to say it, but there's not very many good men out there that are gentlemen and take care of the women in their lives. Plus, many of my friends like the idea of having a career and contributing to the bottom line of the family but not necessarily wanting full responsibility for the children or the household. They wouldn't mind having a female to share that responsibility with... meaning, a backup co-wife type thing. I'm not saying they espouse a difference in male and female responsibilities around the home, but they are cognizant of the fact that men just have different areas where they help - maintenance, landscaping, heavy lifting.

I've joked with some female friends that we all aught to move to a compound together. They jokingly love the idea. What that would mean for sexual relations, I don't know - but they really like the idea.

 

[candrew]

While the reverse is true in the handful of cultures that practiced polyandry, but not polygyny. I don't think there has been a culture that practiced polygamy with either sex having multiple partners.

However, at least on atheist blogs, it's common to see people of any sex describe themselves as polyamorous.

I've been in polyamorous relationships and I've been (currently) married. Believe me when I say they are as different as different can get.

 

[One Brow]

Polygamy and polyandry of very distinct things,

If you had read the definition Stoked quoted for your benefit, you would have seen this was not true. Polygamy is the umbrella term for polygyny, polyandry, and group marriage.

and I doubt many people in discussing 'polygamy' have polyandry as part of their frame of reference.

I agree, but this is an issue of sexism, not vocabulary.

 

[One Brow]

Go on....

Yes, we do.

 

[Stoked]

If you had read the definition Stoked quoted for your benefit, you would have seen this was not true. Polygamy is the umbrella term for polygyny, polyandry, and group marriage.



I agree, but this is an issue of sexism, not vocabulary.

Wait...what? I have until now, not posted in this thread? When did I quote a definition?

As far as the topic goes. If 3 adults (regardless of orientation) want to marry each other...well that is their business not mine. Wether it be 1 man and two women, a woman and 2 men, 3 men or 3 women.

 

[One Brow]

Wait...what? I have until now, not posted in this thread? When did I quote a definition?

It was Loggrad98. This was my error completely. My sincere apologies to both of you.

 

[Nate505]

I'm all for an open marriage, though I don't feel that strongly about it to not get married unless that's on the table.

However, I'm quite sure the fiance to be isn't, so there goes that. Just floating the idea got me a bit of a look. Still, I think in general monogamy is totally unnatural, but I can't help the culture I grew in which goes against nature and encourages it.

That being said I don't like the idea of living with more than one wife. For one I'm a bit of a hermit and like my alone time, and multiple partners means more times to be bothered.

 

[Nate505]

Polygamy and polyandry of very distinct things, and I doubt many people in discussing 'polygamy' have polyandry as part of their frame of reference.

Also, how people here feel about polygamy (mostly men here) will often be quite different than how they feel about polyandry, particularly since it is far easier for them to imagine how they'd feel about the latter than the former. (People tend to be much less in favor of something if they perceive they be the ones disadvantaged/oppressed/inconvenienced/etc. as a result.)

I could see the advantages of having another husband. We can split duties on going to god awful 4th grade recitals, going shopping with the wife, and split up the annoying list of crap to do around the house that needs fixing.

 

[babe]

That's a cliche answer. Got any real thoughts?

While it might be a "cliche answer", it can still be a real, serious thought. . . . .

 

[babe]

Why couldn't you handle it?

I think it gets really interesting when we break through the standard answers of "wow one woman is tough enough" and really consider it. What would it be like? We have some tv shows to go by, but that dramatizes it. It wouldn't be just all sex all the time, or all nagging all the time. There are times my wife and I both thought another adult in the home would be great. Potentially a third income stream. Someone else to help corral the kids. Someone maybe available for getting to that appointment we almost missed for whatever reason. Could there be a marriage that was celibate except for one partner, say the "primary" partner?

marriage with one wife can be all nagging and no sex, you don't need polygamy for that. . . . you can just be particularly, noticeably, ignorant. . . . well, probably most of us wouldn't really have to even try to do that. . . .

everybody would sometimes like some "validation" in a one-to-one deadlocked argument, but a second wife would be an idiot to cast the tie-breaker vote one way or another. . . . same as you'd be an idiot to cast the tie-breaker vote in a spat between two women. . . .

The third income idea might work pretty good, but actually you could just rent out the basement or a room. . . . . Any woman with "wife" ideas will eventually also have a lawyer if things head south, if she's been paying your mortgage, for example. . . .

I've had some extended family help out pretty happily with the kids and other needs of the practical sort. . . . just need someone on your side of the equation who will return favors like that so no one gets burned out on it. . . .

 

[Gameface]

I'm all for an open marriage, though I don't feel that strongly about it to not get married unless that's on the table.

However, I'm quite sure the fiance to be isn't, so there goes that. Just floating the idea got me a bit of a look. Still, I think in general monogamy is totally unnatural, but I can't help the culture I grew in which goes against nature and encourages it.

That being said I don't like the idea of living with more than one wife. For one I'm a bit of a hermit and like my alone time, and multiple partners means more times to be bothered.

I think it's natural to not have monogamous desires, but I also think it's natural to be threatened by a sexual rival. So while most people would like to have sex with more than one person, very few of us can keep our natural instincts to compete with rivals in check. I think the way things are in this age where both partners can choose to be in a relationship or not, where it is typically two people in an exclusive relationship, is the outcome of our nature. I think most of us want our partner to be exclusive to us more than we want to have multiple partners.

 

[babe]

I think you take religion out of the equation and have a marriage of 3 true equals you'd get a lot of "2 against 1" scenarios with the two women inevitably teaming up to slit the man's throat while he's sleeping.

So what you do is don't be the tie-breaker, and count yourself out of the squawks. Get online and do some JazzFanz philosophying, and the next day they'll have sorted it out between themselves. . . . and both in love with you.

 

[babe]

The way this came up in conversation with my wife was through a friend of hers who went through an ugly divorce about 8 years ago. She is now in her late 30's and was talking to my wife about how hard it is to date at that age, especially considering the fact that she has a kid whom she has custody of. We have invited her to many activities in our family over the years and I would consider her my friend too. She was pretty down and told my wife she feels like the "good men" are so few and far between, and told her she was lucky to have me. She is LDS and finding single LDS men at that age can come with it's own weird baggage. My wife thought about that and thought well what if she could marry me? She would have a decent husband and father, someone who at least approximates her values, and they both are more or less best friends to begin with.

This is actually something that happens sometimes. . . .

It says your wife is essentially very secure in her marriage and that you've treated her pretty good overall. My wife has had a few friends more or less conduct their pity parties on the same notion, but she tells them they can just have me. . . .

 

[franklin]

This is actually something that happens sometimes. . . .

It says your wife is essentially very secure in her marriage and that you've treated her pretty good overall. My wife has had a few friends more or less conduct their pity parties on the same notion, but she tells them they can just have me. . . .

lol

 

[babe]

Actually little known by LDS faithful, there were, I believe, instances of polyandry in LDS history. This was not some offshoot Mormon sect but mainstream members during, I believe, the Nauvoo period.

For whatever it's worth.

There was one instance in the early Utah period. . . well, about 1870 I think. . . . where a woman who wanted children married in the "for time" meaning intended for this life only. . . . and her "eternity" husband raised the kids up as his own, all arranged by leaders, to overcome some impediment in the man who couldn't be a father. . . .

other than that, to my reading on the subject, there were a lot of temple marriages in the Nauvoo period that were contracted essentially on terms of being "for the next life only". When Joseph Smith was killed by the Carthage mob, there were a lot of families that just went different ways altogether, and a lot of women who "tagged on" to men with families heading west, who married the man who was willing to take care of her in the wild wild west on more earthly terms.

the idea of polygamy had been until then some what experimental and the ideas were pretty fluid, and in the time when those who were intending to stay with the Mormon faith were preparing to head west, there was a lot of rearranging of personal affairs.