Colton, I know you don't want to get into any substantive discussion of the rules, so I won't even try. I will, however, in response to your 99.9% claim, note a few things, viz:
1. There is a difference between understanding the rules "as written" versus the rules "as applied" (the "real rules," in my vernacular).
2. It is easy to SAY that "Everybody knows what (disorderly conduct, homophobic comments, trollin, etc.--insert your own prohibition) means." Notwithstanding their smug self-assurance, any such claim is prima facie foolish, if ya ax me.
3. The difficulty in trying to understand rules "as applied," becomes much more acute when a phrase like "disorderly conduct" (not a rule here, just a hypothetical example) is deemed to include such things as the utterance of words in the reverse order intended (in a "disorderly" manner, see?). Again, that's just a hypothetical example. It could be anything, like mebbe makin a post in such a "disorderly" fashion that some posters can't tell which parts of it are quotations and which aint.
4. The problem is further exacerbated when any simple, sincere request for an indication of what a phrase like "homophobic comments" is intended to include is deleted from a post and ignored. One almost gets the impression that the mods want to keep things as ambiguous, imprecise, and malleable as possible, to give them maximum latitude when voting and dispensing punishment, according to their personal agenda.