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Documented Facts

Archie Moses

Archie Moses

Well-Known Member
There are somethings that are true, somethings that are untrue. There are tall tales, and there are fables. I'm here to share with you a few documented facts.

First, it is a documented fact that no one has ever dunked in a pair of "chucks."

black-chucks.jpg


Even though the highly popular shoes endorsed and sold by Chuck Taylor were sold like crazy, no one has ever been able to throw down a wammer jammer while wearing them. Adam Keefe, a former Utah Jazz player, wore Chucks in high school. After high school in Irvine, CA, Adam attended Standford University and was later selected by the Atlanta Hawkes. Keefe eventually saw Harold Minor in the NBA dunk contest and became obsessed with dunking it like him. Adam later abandoned the Chucks, and master the famous fast-break backwards dunk. Were sorry, Chuck, but dunking shoes aint for you.

Second, it is a documented fact that Carlos Boozer shoots like Derek Fisher.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53IlCAi6YDA

Derek%20Fisher.jpg


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Third, it is a documented fact that AK-47 has never been able to cash in on his one year allowance. Not because he doesn't want to, but because no one likes skinny snitzles.

Forth, it is a documented fact that John Crotty sucks *** at Karate.

Fifth, it is a documented fact the MJ will never play Russell one on one. Not because he doesn't want to clown Russell, but he doesn't want to go to Orem.

Sixth, it is a documented fact that Nemanja Bjelica will be selected by the Utah Jazz in the second round merely because Kevon O'Conner has read my man obsession with him on jazzfan. Bjelica will end up sucking super bad in the NBA and the guy who's drafted after him will end up being a HOF player.

Seventh, it is a documented fact that there is a midgetville somewhere in SLC, at least that's what I hear.

8th, it is a documented fact the number 8 was no longer the most hated number on Sesame Street. After Kobe abandoned it, and Deron made it g8ness, the muppets ended up loving it. Eight ah ah ah.

Ninth, Carlos Boozer won't be resigned to the Jazz until he seriously injures himself this summer, then the Jazz will offer him a max deal.

Tenth, howtobuildapillowfort.com is no longer receiving hits, therefore the domain name will not be renewed with godaddy. I guess that joke is about as funny as saying the World Cup is a joke.

11th, it is a documented fact that with the ninth pick, the jazz will pick..... https://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=118326338204214&ref=ts

12, it is a documented fact that I have no friends. Both online and in real life. hehepeepeecaca, not!*say with Borat voice.

What are some other documented facts?
 
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Yeah the midget ville youre referring to is in Sugarhouse right by Westminster.

Its guarded by big *** body guards.

Dont venture in there at night time....
 
At the end of his career Deron Williams will be considered the greatest point guard of all time...that never won a title, beating out John Stockton, Steve Nash, and Chris Paul.
 
It is a documented fact that "boom bitches" went out of style as fast as pogs, razor scooters, owning an ant farm, drive ins, gold fish swallowing, and telephone booth stuffing.
 
Its a documented fact that anyone who can acquire 73 posts since the opening of this board, seriously needs to get laid, or join the clergy.

Edit: This fact doesn't apply to Colton, because he's done a lot of administrative posts... so all is good in da' hood.

But seriously archie.
 
The-Joker said:
Its a documented fact that anyone who can acquire 73 posts since the opening of this board, seriously needs to get laid, or join the clergy.

Edit: This fact doesn't apply to Colton, because he's done a lot of administrative posts... so all is good in da' hood.

But seriously archie.
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It is a documented fact that patience is a virtue. On the bright side, I'm engaged. Hopefully it works out better than the last time, eh?
 
afrojazz said:
At the end of his career Deron Williams will be considered the greatest point guard of all time...that never won a title, beating out John Stockton, Steve Nash, and Chris Paul.
Click to expand...

....Deron will NEVER be as good as Stockton or Nash....but will probably win a championship before he retires.
 
Sirkickyass said:
Unfair comparison. It's like reading one of those Harlequin romances and then complaining that it's not as good as Hamlet.

I realize I'm giving both posts too much credit.
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The problem with that is that with the Harlequin romances you know, the author knows, and the publisher knows that it is pure crap and as such no effort is put into the quality of the book. At least an effort is made here.

And I'd use something like Richard II over Hamlet, since Tater did a sort of history that no one really wanted to read. And since I seem to be the only one on Earth who enjoyed reading Richard II, it makes the comparison even better.
 
carolinajazz said:
....Deron will NEVER be as good as Stockton or Nash....but will probably win a championship before he retires.
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Deron will never be as good as Nash? Deron puts up the same numbers as Nash without dominating the ball nearly as much. Deron is also a much better defender. Nash is a better pure shooter than Deron, but that's about the only advantage he has over him. Deron is better at getting to the rim, finishing, defending, and can make things happen a lot faster than Nash with his probing style.
 
Sirkickyass said:
Unfair comparison. It's like reading one of those Harlequin romances and then complaining that it's not as good as Hamlet.

I realize I'm giving both posts too much credit.
Click to expand...

Shakespeare's a hack. I might take a flier on him at 15, but no way is he worth the 9.
 
Mambo said:
Yeah the midget ville youre referring to is in Sugarhouse right by Westminster.

Its guarded by big *** body guards.

Dont venture in there at night time....
Click to expand...

I prefer to call it hobbitville.

I didnt encounter any body guards on my trip to hobbitville, but I did encounter some very pissed off midgets and a huge guy with a beard that tried to run me and my friends over with his buick. I never believed any of the stories until I went, but yeah its not a great idea to go in there uninvited.

Does anyone know the story behind that place? Just alot of angry little people that decided to live together, or whats the deal?
 
Does that place seriously exist? My parents made fun of me all through jr high and high school cause I told them about it. I've never been there, or no anyone that has actually been there, but everyone knows about it.
 
Ive gone on two seperate occasions, its private property. And both times a big *** body guard has told me quote " to get the f*** outta here"
 
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