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ITT, I briefly post my absurd opinion on every Utah Jazz player.

Xsy

Xsy

Well-Known Member
ITT, I briefly post my absurd opinion on every Utah Jazz player. (Updated 8/9)

The offseason is getting to me, guys. It's getting to me bad. I need a fix.

"Why don't you just watch the Olympics, Xsy?"

Well, JazzFanz, its because its too damn hard to root for Carmelo, Kobe, and Westbrook and still feel good about it. I mean, I feel the national pride in Team USA. I really do. I still watch the games and everything-- but with no Jazz represenation, and so many unlikable players, it just doesn't feel right, you know?

So in a desperate attempt to mitigate my offseason woes, I figured I'd attempt a good basketball fix by reflecting on our team, and preparing myself for the upcoming season. I tried to do something like this last year during the lockout on RealGM, but RealGM is lame and I tried way too hard. Gonna be a lot more casual n'crap with this one.

So without much further ado, here are my absurd opinions on every Utah Jazz player.

Table of Contents
Gordon Hayward
Jamaal Tinsley
 
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Guys, I love Gordon Hayward.

Not in a gay way, I swear.

I love him for basketball reasons. I promise. This is strictly an "extreme fandom" type of relationship. I know I'm not alone, here, either. You love him too. Admit it. Something about this kid just gives me a raging basketboner. Maybe its the fact that he's got a great all around game. Maybe its his deceptive athleticism. Or maybe its the fact that he's a white nerd with a humble, relatable attitude.

Hell, it doesn't even matter. Gordon Hayward is a straight up gangster, and ain't nobody gon' make me feel different, yo. He's got a great work ethic, and you can tell he's the kind of guy who takes the game seriously. During his rookie season, he introduced himself as one of the most promising young players in the league. Nobody thought the #9 pick from Butler had it in him, but he proved us all wrong. A lot of people thought taking Hayward at #9 was a reach-- people expected him to go around #12. Only one player selected after Hayward, Paul George at #10, has even come close to challenging our selection. Kevin O'Connor earned a lot of respect with this pick. In his rookie season, Hayward showed steady growth. They say players tend to hit 'The Rookie Wall' during their first season, but Hayward only got better as the season went on. In the last 6 days of the season, he broke his career high three times, finishing the year with 34 points, 3 rebounds, and 4 assists against Denver.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K6w5DnKdfw

During the lockout, he tweeted about mainly working on his handle. Lo and behold, Gordon returned for the 2011/12 season with an improved handle, and truly showed that he can be a playmaker for this team.

Unfortunately, he sort of hit a 'Sophomore Slump'-- but we can't be too upset about it, since he totally skipped the whole 'Rookie Wall' thing. But whatever, so what. He had a sophomore slump. But eventually, he overcame his sophomore slump and had a spring breakout. Post All-Star break, he averaged 14 points, 4 rebounds, and 3 assists. Thanks to strong play in the last two months of the season, he helped bring the Jazz to the playoffs.

Unfortunately, he sort of sucked **** in the playoffs. I don't wanna talk about it. There's already a topic about this-- go there if you want to talk about it. But I'm ready to forget about it, and give him a chance next year.

Anyway, I'm running out of crap to say. So yeah. That's the first post. Next post comes whenever I feel like it.

Stay tuned!
 
"You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later."

You reminded me that there is still 3 months to the season. Nice idea though, Xsy. I will wait for other players. Don't skip Kanter.
 
If you really want to get this thread started, say you hate Hayward and love Al.

Also, believe it or not, this offseason is probably one of the most interesting offseason the Jazz have ever had.
 
Weezur said:
If you really want to get this thread started, say you hate Hayward and love Al.

Also, believe it or not, this offseason is probably one of the most interesting offseason the Jazz have ever had.
Click to expand...

I do agree that this is one of the best Jazz offseasons in a while, but the offseason is the offseason. Still boring.

Not nearly as bad as the lockout last year, though.
 
dalamon said:
Pfft, I'd gobble G-Time's gravy-maker 6 days a week, and thrice on Sundays.
Click to expand...

This comment just got neg'd by colton. I'd say that it was rather clever, yet ambiguous as well. No way a 12 year old would know what I was talking about.
 
dalamon said:
This comment just got neg'd by colton. I'd say that it was rather clever, yet ambiguous as well. No way a 12 year old would know what I was talking about.
Click to expand...
Maybe it's because Colton believes Sunday is a day of rest.
I'd neg rep you too for crassness, but I only neg rep those who do that to me.
 
MoTown16 said:
Maybe it's because Colton believes Sunday is a day of rest.
I'd neg rep you too for crassness, but I only neg rep those who do that to me.
Click to expand...

"I don't always give negative rep for crassness, but when I do it's those who do that to me"?
 
dalamon said:
This comment just got neg'd by colton. I'd say that it was rather clever, yet ambiguous as well. No way a 12 year old would know what I was talking about.
Click to expand...

That is what Colton does dude. And yes, a 12 year old knows advanced terms for blow jobs.
 
Wow, I must have just BARELY crossed the line to get an infraction.

I'd make a joke about someone's dad teaching him what a BJ was, but, I'm trying to stay clean.
 
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