Job Interviews

[franklin]

The whole interview process can get pretty annoying. Alot of 'em are just jerking you around and ask a bunch of stupid, worthless b.s. to fill time. If I think I'm being jerked around, and I have been a time or two, then I get down with some Eric Cartmanisms to answer their garbage. Hell, if I get bored with life and droppin' them hung dolls off the overpasses gets boring, I might go on job interviews just to **** with them *******. That's in line right after test driving and almost buying cars from the biggest dicks in this state, making them stay to 2 in the morning with all the dickering and lost keys and all. Just cause it'd feel good I tell ya.

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?
Me: I'm an alcoholic. (Long pause. As soon as they start to respond) I used to drink on work nights ALL THE TIME. But I'm getting older and more responsible. I have kids. I'm over that stage in life.

 

[C l u t c H 385]

Where did you go to law school, did you not pass the bar?

NY. Don't find out til Nov.

 

[Hopper]

Anyone need an unlicensed lawyer?

Can ya drive souped-up hot rods fast, hard, and fancy without killin everybuddy, Clutch? I kinda been keepin a look-out for a good wheelman for gitawayz, ya know?

You would be perfect...if they gits us at a roadblock, er sumthin, you could be the mouthpiece, too, see?

 

[TroutBum]

I've only had like two interviews in my adult career, and got both jobs. I have a real bubbly personality and I'm devilishly handsome.



WHO CAN STOP RASPBERRY?!

 

[CONAN]

I've found with many job interviews they just want to see if you can get along with others and problem solve without involving management. You can get a good feel for that in an interview but plenty of people are good at faking it, too.

Way back in the day I interviewed at Stouffers for some menial job but the pay was good and the lady asked why I wanted the job. I decided to be brutally honest and said "For the money". She almost fell out of her chair and said "Hey, at least you're honest".

 

[C l u t c H 385]

Can ya drive souped-up hot rods fast, hard, and fancy without killin everybuddy, Clutch? I kinda been keepin a look-out for a good wheelman for gitawayz, ya know?

You would be perfect...if they gits us at a roadblock, er sumthin, you could be the mouthpiece, too, see?

Where do I sign? American cars only though.