Nope, not normal. If you're correct about him having no idea, I'm with Trout--it sounds like she has a screw loose.
Question for Mormons
- Thread starter Gyp Rosetti
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Nope, not normal. If you're correct about him having no idea, I'm with Trout--it sounds like she has a screw loose.
Wow, your coworker is getting a little hot to trot. That said, I've never been a big fan of long distance relationships, especially when it's young kids (16-24) who don't have any actual ties to the person they're in a long distance relationship with. Obviously it's a little different when your HS sweetheart goes on a mission, as I'm sure there's a certain amount of romance associated with that in LDS culture, but in my opinion it's even worse. That girl should have been dating these last couple years, not pinning her hopes and dreams on this guy she may not even recognize (personality-wise) when he gets back. Not to quote a stupid pop song, but she's really just someone that he used to know.
Well, how long were they ogether before? Did they talka bout this before he left? It is their plan to do this then great. If the guy really is going to be blindsided by this then yea she is off.
I'd be interested in who you specifically think those posters are.
Do couples really plan all of this stuff out that far ahead of time? Two years is a long time and feelings and attitudes can definitely change. That said, maybe she's going with the approach of not telling the boyfriend, and when (if) he proposes, she'll tell him that she's ready to go to the temple the next day.
jazz_fanatic
Well-Known Member
They were together for 6 months, which I think is nothing. They brought up the whole marriage thing before he left, but I still think 2 years a long time and like nightmare said, feelings change, people change. She is already planning on having the wedding by October. She's positive he's gonna ask her right away. I don't know, I just think it's all a little crazy and all I can say when she tells me all these things is, "OOOoohh.....I'm so...happy for you... O_O"
NAOS
Well-Known Member
Dude, don't be a wuss. Tell her that she should consider "altering" (lowering!) her expectations. Tell her how it isn't easy being a 19 year old away from home, proselyting all day... and that people make homesick promises while they're gone. Ask her what she's been doing with her life the last two years when she wasn't busy fantasizing about the future... where'd all those days go? Tell her she can have a Godly marriage in the eyes of her fellow believers but that she needn't force the issue.... <-- those are kind words, and I'm inclined to say they NEED to be said by somebody with a spine.
And if you find out your buddy has been peppering her with these fantasies in his letters home, then slap that bitch for keeping this girl on a string for so long. I'm amazed to hear stories of young men going abroad and spending all their energies fantasizing about home.
My wife and I were high school sweethearts. We broke up after I graduated (she was a year behind me and a senior in HS) and got back together a couple months before I left on my mission. We both knew and agreed she would date while I was gone. According to her, she dated "a ton". I insisted on dating a little after I got home, but soon remembered I hate playing the dating game. We got married about 10 months after I got home and just celebrated our 12 year anniversary. I think the fact we both dated other people after/during the mission is important and plays a big factor in our successful marriage.
green
Well-Known Member
As a Mormon, I believe that certain ordinances need to have proper authority to have them bound by God. Marriage is one of them. Why would I marry someone I want to be with forever, knowing that our marriage is only "til death do we part" because she can't go into the temple?
