Losing a parent is a uniquely painful experience. I didn't get time to say goodbye to Dad-- he died in an early-morning accident at work, and I only got to dress him for burial and speak at his funeral. That he didn't have to suffer is poor consolation; paradoxically, it might have been equally poor consolation to see him suffer just so I had time to say goodbye. Losing someone isn't "made easier" by anything, I think. How I might have spent such time with him, and what I might have said to him, has nonetheless been played over and over in my mind a million times in the years since his passing. I would never presume to give you advice on how to navigate this very personal experience, JazzGal, but I do hope you-- and your family-- are able to spend as much time with him as you can before he is gone. God bless you.