The Curse of Danny Ainge

[Handlogten's Heros]

Look folks... the only explanation for what has happened to us is black magic/voodoo/witchcraft. We were doing quite well until we brought in a certain character on...

12/15/2021 Danny Ainge is named as new CEO... we are 20-7 at that point... and on an 8 game win streak.... could it be that Danny Ainge is cursed... lets take a look.

- 2016-17 he convinces IT to play through injury to boost his playoff performance... he had already started colluding with a certain small forward that had ties to his current head coach. He did not realize he had upset the basketball gods and was smitten with a curse.

- He gets the SF to sign in the summer and is able to trade a broken IT to the Cavs for Kyrie Irving - who pledges his undying loyalty to Boston... things seemingly were amazing.
- His prize FA addition snaps his leg off in the 1st quarter of his first game... he was also struck with a curse of having no sons with which to carry his name to future generations.
- Kyrie ends up being hurt for the playoffs which limits their playoff run.
- The following year Kyrie starts going crazy and the team has a failed playoff run.
- Kyrie leaves.
- No worries though as they are able to replace him with a very stable vet in Kemba Walker who gets a huge contract but is surely going to be great for a long time.
- Kemba is broken after his first year.
- His prize FA leaves.
- He has like 5 first rounders and none that really hit (except Robert Williams who is also cursed with lack of ability to tell time). He drafts Desmond Bane but trades him to help clear some salary.
- He also almost traded for 15 superstars during that time but never closed the deal.
- He leaves Boston in a somewhat weird fashion and turns the reigns over to Brad Stevens.
- The curse being lifted from Boston allows the Celtics to become a true title contender out of nowhere.
- The Jazz go 25 - 23 and disband at the end of the year.
- Danny trades the GOAT for NAW and Juan but really just cash.

Look the man is cursed and must be removed. Someone get a lock of his hair, pick up a dozen churros, and meet me at the pillowfort in the back of the warehouse at Best Buy. We must perform an exorcism.

 

[Saint Cy of JFC]

The only way Danny can make it up is if he convinces Smith to go scorched Earth. Danny has no investment to any player. He can do this.

 

[infection]

The only thing that can save us is a really good churro thread.

You heard that right. Ryan, Danny, Quin, Don, Rudy, the guys… they ain’t gonna do ****. They can’t. A handful of assholes on a message board making a thread with churro memes literally has more power to save us than whatever garbage the above names will do to save us. That’s the sad but undeniably real state we are in.

It’s time for us to churro.

 

[RJF]

The only thing that can save us is a really good churro thread.

You heard that right. Ryan, Danny, Quin, Don, Rudy, the guys… they ain’t gonna do ****. They can’t. A handful of assholes on a message board making a thread with churro memes literally has more power to save us than whatever garbage the above names will do to save us. That’s the sad but undeniably real state we are in.

It’s time for us to churro.

There’s a place near me that makes some delicious churros.

 

[Handlogten's Heros]

I'm not even sure I believe in the churro anymore... if it exists why has it forsaken us.

 

[Saint Cy of JFC]

The only thing that can save us is a really good churro thread.

You heard that right. Ryan, Danny, Quin, Don, Rudy, the guys… they ain’t gonna do ****. They can’t. A handful of assholes on a message board making a thread with churro memes literally has more power to save us than whatever garbage the above names will do to save us. That’s the sad but undeniably real state we are in.

It’s time for us to churro.

Only if @dalamon comes back and makes it

 

[infection]

I'm not even sure I believe in the churro anymore... if it exists why has it forsaken us.

A false god has a better chance of spontaneously being thought into existence than our current psychological makeup has of changing its spots. If you want real change, then your best bet is to meme harder.

 

[Handlogten's Heros]

A false god has a better chance of spontaneously being thought into existence than our current psychological makeup has of changing its spots. If you want real change, then your best bet is to meme harder.

I just got super into anti-churro literature... the history of the churro has some questionable items in its history. At one point I heard the churro was more like a donut and one account calls it a coffee cake.

 

[LogGrad98]

I have had the churros of the gods. And I looked upon them, and they were delicious.

 

[infection]

I just got super into anti-churro literature... the history of the churro has some questionable items in its history. At one point I heard the churro was more like a donut and one account calls it a coffee cake.

The churro is perfect, the people aren’t.

 

[infection]

Also, people are believing in corrupted churro beliefs. They have not fully tasted of of the restoration of The Churro of Jerry Sloan.

 

[David Hume]

Yet hypothetical postulates such as witches and sentient, animate churros go beyond an empirical stance and indulge in inflationary metaphysics.

 

[KqWIN]

Fun jokes, but there's a hint of truth here. The real curse is Ryan Smith. It doesn't get better from here. He'll continue to hire his buddies.

 

[Handlogten's Heros]

Fun jokes, but there's a hint of truth here. The real curse is Ryan Smith. It doesn't get better from here. He'll continue to hire his buddies.

It’s just not fun though… I can’t stand Ainge. He ****ed us so hard on the Hayward deal and Ryan made him the boss when he clearly wanted to retire and work part time. If it wasn’t for the Brooklyn deal and being buddies with McHale I’m not sure his track record looks good at all.

I’d like to slap Ryan upside his backwards hat wearing head.

 

[Jingled]

 

[KqWIN]

It’s just not fun though… I can’t stand Ainge. He ****ed us so hard on the Hayward deal and Ryan made him the boss when he clearly wanted to retire and work part time. If it wasn’t for the Brooklyn deal and being buddies with McHale I’m not sure his track record looks good at all.

I’d like to slap Ryan upside his backwards hat wearing head.

Same here. Even if you consider Ainge's track record good, it actively works against him nowadays. At least D-Wade is cool...but a Ryan-Ainge-Wade brain trust is not looking so hot.

 

[LogGrad98]

Same here. Even if you consider Ainge's track record good, it actively works against him nowadays. At least D-Wade is cool...but a Ryan-Ainge-Wade brain trust is not looking so hot.

Yeah their first major move was to kick the heart of the team for the past 8 years, and arguably the best locker-room presence in the league, to the curb to get $0.50 on the dollar back. The only bright spot of that is that Juancho looks like an actual NBA player.

Don't get me wrong, I know Ingles contract was the most tradeable, and I get trying to get some value out of it, but to get so little for it when they did the trade was ridiculous. I think they would have been better off applying for an injury exception and then just signing someone, or trading other minor pieces for basically exactly what they got in return. What a waste.

 

[Agent#00]

I think we will witness the full wrath of Danny Ainge after this. maybe he already have plans in place but just waiting for the season to end.

 

[Handlogten's Heros]

I think we will witness the full wrath of Danny Ainge after this. maybe he already have plans in place but just waiting for the season to end.

Oh ****… does this mean we are going to almost trade everyone?!?!?!? We will be so close to getting so many good players!?!??


Eff that guy and his fat fat neck.

 

[George W]

Only if @dalamon comes back and makes it

Not sure who this is, but if I find them i will let them know

- George