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What's the closest you've ever come to death?

Wow that was crazy

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I once fell off a 100 foot ladder. Thank god I was on the bottom rung when it happened. :)


Ok, now that we have the dad joke out of the way, here are mine 1) I worked in a warehouse loading trucks swing shift during non-basketball season/summer in college. We warmed up the loaded diesel semi while we finished loading it before pulling into the warehouse at shift end. The last item to go on the trailer is a very heavy electric pallet jack. I just barely finished loading it on and my co-worker decided to pull the semi away from the dock (a big no-no obviously until the load was complete and trailer closed). I barely had the jack on when he pulled away and I nearly fell between the dock and trailer but managed to keep the jack on without falling jumping back into the warehouse. Falling alone may have resulted in a sprained ankle. However, he immediately realized that I may not have finished loading and let the truck back up. If I had fallen I would have been crushed. Fun stuff.

2) Driving on I-15 near Lagoon. SUV in front had a metal hitch rack/basket come off and started turning end over end, ended up flipping over my vehicle right above my driver sear barely missing me. A girl that went to my HS had something similar with metal debris off a construction truck go through her windshield and killed her. Crazy.
 
I almost lost a swimming race once with over a million competitors. Failing to get first place would have resulted in death. It was quite the ordeal.

I know this may sound made up, but it was completely true. Nine months later I was born.
 
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Actually died twice, technically (heart stopped longer than a minute) from cancer treatments. But that's not particularly light-hearted. So in the spirit of the thread, coming home to Utah one year at Christmas hit some bad ice and slush on the freeway, going a bit faster than I should have been, and nearly rolled my van. The wild thing is I was on the phone with my dad and got cut off when the rocking van kicked my phone off the seat. Last thing he heard was me yelling to my dog, named puge (like pooch with a g at the end) to hold on because the van was going to roll. He thought it was pretty funny to hear me yell "hold on Pugey, we're going over!"

That's legitimately the most scared I've been in a car accident situation. Tightened the old sphincter up, I'll say that. Luckily it didn't roll over but wow.

And the dog just laid there grinning through the whole thing. Damn she was a good dog, RIP. Miss you , Pugey.
 
TheGoldStandard said:
I once fell off a 100 foot ladder. Thank god I was on the bottom rung when it happened. :)


Ok, now that we have the dad joke out of the way, here are mine 1) I worked in a warehouse loading trucks swing shift during non-basketball season/summer in college. We warmed up the loaded diesel semi while we finished loading it before pulling into the warehouse at shift end. The last item to go on the trailer is a very heavy electric pallet jack. I just barely finished loading it on and my co-worker decided to pull the semi away from the dock (a big no-no obviously until the load was complete and trailer closed). I barely had the jack on when he pulled away and I nearly fell between the dock and trailer but managed to keep the jack on without falling jumping back into the warehouse. Falling alone may have resulted in a sprained ankle. However, he immediately realized that I may not have finished loading and let the truck back up. If I had fallen I would have been crushed. Fun stuff.

2) Driving on I-15 near Lagoon. SUV in front had a metal hitch rack/basket come off and started turning end over end, ended up flipping over my vehicle right above my driver sear barely missing me. A girl that went to my HS had something similar with metal debris off a construction truck go through her windshield and killed her. Crazy.
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Jokes aside, one place I worked had a fatality that was exactly what you listed in #1 there. Was a woman who fell off the dock between the truck and building from a pull-away, then had the truck rock back and crush her. Was horrible. Wasn't at my site, luckily, but man was that bad.
 
LogGrad98 said:
Jokes aside, one place I worked had a fatality that was exactly what you listed in #1 there. Was a woman who fell off the dock between the truck and building from a pull-away, then had the truck rock back and crush her. Was horrible. Wasn't at my site, luckily, but man was that bad.
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Yeah, I was pissed. A stupid brainless decision by the guy could have killed me. I quit shortly after and have worked in safer environments since.
 
TheGoldStandard said:
I once fell off a 100 foot ladder. Thank god I was on the bottom rung when it happened. :)


Ok, now that we have the dad joke out of the way, here are mine 1) I worked in a warehouse loading trucks swing shift during non-basketball season/summer in college. We warmed up the loaded diesel semi while we finished loading it before pulling into the warehouse at shift end. The last item to go on the trailer is a very heavy electric pallet jack. I just barely finished loading it on and my co-worker decided to pull the semi away from the dock (a big no-no obviously until the load was complete and trailer closed). I barely had the jack on when he pulled away and I nearly fell between the dock and trailer but managed to keep the jack on without falling jumping back into the warehouse. Falling alone may have resulted in a sprained ankle. However, he immediately realized that I may not have finished loading and let the truck back up. If I had fallen I would have been crushed. Fun stuff.

2) Driving on I-15 near Lagoon. SUV in front had a metal hitch rack/basket come off and started turning end over end, ended up flipping over my vehicle right above my driver sear barely missing me. A girl that went to my HS had something similar with metal debris off a construction truck go through her windshield and killed her. Crazy.
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That gave a reminder.
I was working a 12 hour shift as a forklift driver in the warehouse and my partner had called in sick so I was solo. Busy, high stress day 7 hours in with no break and I was heading to park my lift down a narrow corridor so I could go to lunch.
It was a stand up forklift and if you have driven one then you know the steering takes some getting used to. I was still in the training stages and was still getting used to the stand up forklift.
In the narrow corridor I was driving down were a line of 2,000 lb fruit totes. I meant to go a little to the left to go around them but spun the joystick the wrong way and went right instead. Straight at those fruit totes.
I jumped out of my lift just before impact (the wrong thing to do) and smashed my ring finger on my right hand between the forklift frame and the fruit tote. Finger exploded. Bones sticking out every which way. Joint capsule obliterated. Finger totally mangled. My finger kind of looked like a hot dog left in the microwave for too long.

Had major reconstructive surgery. Couldn't start physical therapy until the bones had fused back together so the scar tissue was allowed to solidify. My finger is still ****ed 15 years later. I got 4,000 Dollars from workers comp at least.

Anywho I was a spit second from my body being crushed instead of just my finger. You always stay on/in the forklift in a crash. I got lucky

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fishonjazz said:
That gave a reminder.
I was working a 12 hour shift as a forklift driver in the warehouse and my partner had called in sick so I was solo. Busy, high stress day 7 hours in with no break and I was heading to park my lift down a narrow corridor so I could go to lunch.
It was a stand up forklift and if you have driven one then you know the steering takes some getting used to. I was still in the training stages and was still getting used to the stand up forklift.
In the narrow corridor I was driving down were a line of 2,000 lb fruit totes. I meant to go a little to the left to go around them but spun the joystick the wrong way and went right instead. Straight at those fruit totes.
I jumped out of my lift just before impact (the wrong thing to do) and smashed my ring finger on my right hand between the forklift frame and the fruit tote. Finger exploded. Bones sticking out every which way. Joint capsule obliterated. Finger totally mangled. My finger kind of looked like a hot dog left in the microwave for too long.

Had major reconstructive surgery. Couldn't start physical therapy until the bones had fused back together so the scar tissue was allowed to solidify. My finger is still ****ed 15 years later. I got 4,000 Dollars from workers comp at least.

Anywho I was a spit second from my body being crushed instead of just my finger. You always stay on/in the forklift in a crash. I got lucky

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You are lucky it was not worse. I used to be fork lift certified in college, but never on a stand up rig. I think John Collins ****ed up the same finger, so you guys are twins.
 
Don’t read any further if you have a child on a lds mission right now…

Story 1: in Brazil they don’t has gas water heaters. In fact, the only warm water we ever had came from an electric shower head. These had 2 settings mostly, “cold and scalding hot.” This one shower head was old and needed to be replaced. We bought a new one and we thought we had turned off the power. It turned out that there were two electrical boxes in this house for some reason, one for the shower and one for everything else. While touching all the wires with my bare hands, I didn’t feel a thing. But then when I busted out a knife and touched a wire, a major spark erupted and the metal knife was melted. I have no idea how I wasn’t shocked.

Story 2: This isn’t close to death but could’ve been really bad. One time my comp and late at night got on the wrong bus. We thought it would eventually circle around back to our area but it didn’t. It dropped us off in one of the biggest ghettos in Brazil at around 11 at night, dumping two pretty new American missionaries off. Legit, drugs and death were rampant in this place. It was a forbidden area in our mission and we were smack dab in the middle of it. I said a silent prayer and we both agreed to not speak unless we absolutely had to. I knew the general direction back to our area. Sometime around 2 am we got home.

Story 3: When you’re young and dumb, you do just senselsss things. We had a game where we’d cross the street at the last second, beat the car driving down the road, and “lose” our companion. This usually want malicious. It was usually just a joke and never did we endanger the driver or the missionary. Except this once. When my comp did this, got across the street. Being competitive I didn’t want to let him win. So I sprinted across the street and beat this Trax like train at the last second. It was then that I turned to him and said, “wait, I was almost hit by a train.” Shocked, he said, “uhhh yeah! I thought you were going to be hit.” And we never did it again after that. Easily should’ve been killed there.

I once got hit with swine flu the winter that the first Avatar movie came out. It moved into pneumonia. It was on New Year’s Eve that I went to the doctor and they finally got me the meds I needed. I’ve never been so sick or felt as close to death. Seriously, was sick with the flu and pneumonia from December to mid April that year.

Once was hiking in the Unitas and didn’t realize that dehydration and altitude sickness began to set in. Was lucky enough to get back to my car where I had extra water. So two lessons:

1. Bring far more water than you think you need.
2. Go slow in the Unitas. 10,000-12,000 feet really is different than the 6,000-8,000 feet in the wasatch mtns.
 
The Thriller said:
Don’t read any further if you have a child on a lds mission right now…

Story 1: in Brazil they don’t has gas water heaters. In fact, the only warm water we ever had came from an electric shower head. These had 2 settings mostly, “cold and scalding hot.” This one shower head was old and needed to be replaced. We bought a new one and we thought we had turned off the power. It turned out that there were two electrical boxes in this house for some reason, one for the shower and one for everything else. While touching all the wires with my bare hands, I didn’t feel a thing. But then when I busted out a knife and touched a wire, a major spark erupted and the metal knife was melted. I have no idea how I wasn’t shocked.

Story 2: This isn’t close to death but could’ve been really bad. One time my comp and late at night got on the wrong bus. We thought it would eventually circle around back to our area but it didn’t. It dropped us off in one of the biggest ghettos in Brazil at around 11 at night, dumping two pretty new American missionaries off. Legit, drugs and death were rampant in this place. It was a forbidden area in our mission and we were smack dab in the middle of it. I said a silent prayer and we both agreed to not speak unless we absolutely had to. I knew the general direction back to our area. Sometime around 2 am we got home.

Story 3: When you’re young and dumb, you do just senselsss things. We had a game where we’d cross the street at the last second, beat the car driving down the road, and “lose” our companion. This usually want malicious. It was usually just a joke and never did we endanger the driver or the missionary. Except this once. When my comp did this, got across the street. Being competitive I didn’t want to let him win. So I sprinted across the street and beat this Trax like train at the last second. It was then that I turned to him and said, “wait, I was almost hit by a train.” Shocked, he said, “uhhh yeah! I thought you were going to be hit.” And we never did it again after that. Easily should’ve been killed there.

I once got hit with swine flu the winter that the first Avatar movie came out. It moved into pneumonia. It was on New Year’s Eve that I went to the doctor and they finally got me the meds I needed. I’ve never been so sick or felt as close to death. Seriously, was sick with the flu and pneumonia from December to mid April that year.

Once was hiking in the Unitas and didn’t realize that dehydration and altitude sickness began to set in. Was lucky enough to get back to my car where I had extra water. So two lessons:

1. Bring far more water than you think you need.
2. Go slow in the Unitas. 10,000-12,000 feet really is different than the 6,000-8,000 feet in the wasatch mtns.
Click to expand...
Good advice about the uintas. I too have had some close calls with heat exhaustion and dehydration when hiking.

The worst ghettos I have ever seen were in sao Paolo Brazil. If you were in a ghetto like the ones I saw then you must have terrified enough to **** your pants. And it's not like those ghettos have plumbing so you would probably be better off ******** your pants than using the "bathroom" there



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fishonjazz said:
Good advice about the uintas. I too have had some close calls with heat exhaustion and dehydration when hiking.

The worst ghettos I have ever seen were in sao Paolo Brazil. If you were in a ghetto like the ones I saw then you must have terrified enough to **** your pants. And it's not like those ghettos have plumbing so you would probably be better off ******** your pants than using the "bathroom" there



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You served In São Paulo? Where? That’s exactly where this was.

those ghettos can be scary. And yes, the plumbing (or lack thereof) was something I’d never before seen. I remember this one ghetto in the swampy areas of Guaruja (beach area) that were built on basically a wooden pier. Toilets and sinks were mostly just holes in the pier the grey water would just go straight down under the pier. Because it was swampy the sewage would just sit there. This area was unbearable to work in in warm weather (although it was the easiest place to find people and teach).

I’d never been too worried about hiking safety until two years ago in the Unitas. I actually have some ptsd tbh.
 
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The Thriller said:
You served In São Paulo? Where? That’s exactly where this was.

those ghettos can be scary. And yes, the plumbing (or lack thereof) was something I’d never before seen. I remember this one ghetto in the swampy areas of Guaruja (beach area) that were built on basically a wooden pier. Toilets and sinks were mostly just holes in the pier the grey water would just go straight down under the pier. Because it was swampy the sewage would just sit there. This area was unbearable to work in in warm weather (although it was the easiest place to find people and teach).

I’d never been too worried about hiking safety until two years ago in the Unitas. I actually have some ptsd tbh.
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I went to Brazil for work in like 2013 or something like that. Flew into Sao Paulo and drove about 4 hours into a city called pocos de caldas where we have a production plant. Stayed there for a week

We had our driver take us on a tour around Sao Paulo. I hated it. Stinky. Trash everywhere. Concrete everywhere. Cars. Crowds. Noise.
I don't like big cities at all and at that time Sao Paulo was the 7th biggest city in the world (New York was 14th for perspective). We went through some of the ghettos and they were horrible. And we could see even worse places that our driver was unwilling to even drive through.




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Tripped over on a train platform in Italy and nearly went under an oncoming train once.

Had a couple of decent car accidents at well over 100kph and walked away with little more than a scratch.

Had two hand guns pulled and pointed at me.

Been glassed 4 or 5 times and been in numerous fights with knives involved, got a couple of scars from those but nothing major.

Hopefully that's it for a while
 
Rubashov said:
Tripped over on a train platform in Italy and nearly went under an oncoming train once.

Had a couple of decent car accidents at well over 100kph and walked away with little more than a scratch.

Had two hand guns pulled and pointed at me.

Been glassed 4 or 5 times and been in numerous fights with knives involved, got a couple of scars from those but nothing major.

Hopefully that's it for a while
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mate i always knew you were a ***** Clearly you have nine lives
 
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I once did 360 spin in a car on icy road going probably around 100km/hr while trying to pass other car. Our car jumped out of the main highway and landed on the side of the road in soft snow. Not even a scratch, just little rubber part holding exhaust broke. Driving by the same place numerous times I could not stop marveling that 50 yard long stretch of flat even ground where we landed. Right in front of it was row of thick trees and right after it it was deep ravine. Had the spin happened few seconds earlier or later ending would have not been so lucky. Oh and I had my wife and 1 year old in the back of the seat too.
 
MVP said:
I once did 360 spin in a car on icy road going probably around 100km/hr while trying to pass other car. Our car jumped out of the main highway and landed on the side of the road in soft snow. Not even a scratch, just little rubber part holding exhaust broke. Driving by the same place numerous times I could not stop marveling that 50 yard long stretch of flat even ground where we landed. Right in front of it was row of thick trees and right after it it was deep ravine. Had the spin happened few seconds earlier or later ending would have not been so lucky. Oh and I had my wife and 1 year old in the back of the seat too.
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Wow. I'm glad you are ok.

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