Infidelity
- Thread starter candrew
- Start date
Did you ever think she was biologically yours though?
CONAN
Well-Known Member
With the hiding it for four years I guess I could see the physical hiding of it with weird hours at work. That's still weird to me nothing was suspicious for all that time.
But even then it'd be the emotional side of it that would be hard not to notice I would think. How to do you fake a solid marriage?
But even then it'd be the emotional side of it that would be hard not to notice I would think. How to do you fake a solid marriage?
He does have the advantage that when his kids get older and find out what happened, they will probably sympathizes with him more and just think their mom is kind of a slut that ruined their family.
I knew before she was born that she wasn't. However I put in the work. I was there when she went to school, learned to ride a bike, swim, read. I took her to her games, doctors appointments. Babied her when she was sick. Who is to ever tell me she isn't mine?
If that is anyones opinion here then to hell with you.
Edit: I did get a DNA test just in case though and I hoped that I would be wrong.
Very well said Stoked.
Gyp Rosetti
Banned
My father stayed with my mom for us, the kids, and in doing so, presented an unhealthy relationship for years and years and years. Similarly, I can't imagine living a life, pretending it never happened, and trying to reconcile something that for me is irreconcilable, just for the kids. A single parent home sort of sucks I'm sure but if both parents remain active and positive in their children's lives, I see no reason they can't be raised as well, if not better, than a home where smiling through your teeth becomes the norm.
File for divorce, go for custody of the kids, and move on.
I know this is anecdotal and just my opinion but opinions were asked and this is mine.
File for divorce, go for custody of the kids, and move on.
I know this is anecdotal and just my opinion but opinions were asked and this is mine.
I'm just saying you would probably have an emotional reaction, at least initially, if you had found she wasn't yours after 4 years of thinking she was.
I decided that it would be better for my children to see their mother and I happy but seperated then learn from experience to associate marriage with unhappiness.
Gyp Rosetti
Banned
That's essentially what I'm saying.
Oh I am sure you would but that is still his child. Like all that crap about the difference between a dad and a father that annoying people put on FB.
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PearlWatson
Well-Known Member
The disadvantages in divorcing:
Children have to compete with the parents new "love interests" or other children that may be inherited or created.
The children have to live two separate lives, and be in the middle of perpetual rancor.
The children resort to drugs, alcohol, sex, and other misbehaviors to get attention or get back at you for making their lives miserable.
Children have to compete with the parents new "love interests" or other children that may be inherited or created.
The children have to live two separate lives, and be in the middle of perpetual rancor.
The children resort to drugs, alcohol, sex, and other misbehaviors to get attention or get back at you for making their lives miserable.
Those last two are not a guaranteed result. No rancor between me and my ex. CHildren can resort to drugs and all that regardless of wether their parents are divorced.
As for new children well that is not a certain thing either. There may have been new children if mom and dad had stayed together. Every case is different is my point.
Gyp Rosetti
Banned
And I thought I made absurd assumptions.
Hartsock
Banned
Wes, you are a poster boy for pearls stereotype!
PearlWatson
Well-Known Member
Most disadvantages for divorce no matter the case remain the same.
If you live in separate houses the children live two separate lives.
If there ain't no rancor then there is no reason not to stay together for the kids.
The statistics are extremely convincing on children living with one parent being self destructive.
Way more likely to be new love interests and more children that kids have to compete with if you divorce.
********. I am a divorced person and what you said does not apply to me, my ex or my kids.
How close do the parents live? If close there is no reason the kids have to live seperate lives. Especially once they are teens.
I have no rancor with my ex. None. Are their cases where there is rancor? Obviously but not all of them as I myself am proof of. Maybe they are not together becasue they are no longer in love. As for your statistics, provide them please. More love interests is common sense. Also you have no clue how many more kids a couple would have had had they stayed together. Especially in areas/cultures where the family size is larger.
I understand this is your opinion and that is fine. But please do not make them out to be facts unless you can provide proof of your claims.
PearlWatson
Well-Known Member
From what you said you have a girlfriend that they have to compete with for your attention, and they are moving out of state so they live 2 different lives depending on the custody and visitation arrangement. Maybe you don't realize how difficult and painful those things are for your children.
As an advocate for kids, I think all these possible/probable effects on kids should be considered carefully. Too many parents consider their own "happiness" instead of their children's.
I may find the links for the stats later.