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Infidelity

PearlWatson said:
From what you said you have a girlfriend that they have to compete with for your attention, and they are moving out of state so they live 2 different lives depending on the custody and visitation arrangement. Maybe you don't realize how difficult and painful those things are for your children.

As an advocate for kids, I think all these possible/probable effect on kids should be considered carefully. Too many parents consider their own "happiness" instead of their children's.

I may find the links for the stats later.
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YOu can take your advocacy for children and piss off.


This is a much edited version and I'd advise you to keep your damn assumptions on anything related to my daughters to your god damn self.
 
One Brow said:
Why would it be a sham?
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Well in the sense that most people consider marriage to be some exclusive thing between two people. If I were in his shoes I'd say "ok, for the sake of the kids and the lack of a hassle I'm willing to stay married to you, but I will sleep with other women and you're essentially just another roommate in the house."

Frankly, I'm willing to go the monogamous marriage route in life but an open marriage wouldn't bother me. I don't think exclusivity is very natural. However, I admit I'm in a minority there.
 
Stoked said:
I knew before she was born that she wasn't. However I put in the work. I was there when she went to school, learned to ride a bike, swim, read. I took her to her games, doctors appointments. Babied her when she was sick. Who is to ever tell me she isn't mine?

If that is anyones opinion here then to hell with you.

Edit: I did get a DNA test just in case though and I hoped that I would be wrong.
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I think biology is overrated. My adopted father raised me far more than my biological father. That being said, I'm on good terms with my biological father and it's eerie how many traits I share from a man who I never saw more than once a year and played no part whatsoever in raising me. I can naturally talk to him more about sports and we share the same comedic tastes than my adopted father. Still, when I refer to my "father" to other people it's my adopted father, and when it's to my bio father it's prefaced that way. But what's weird again is that I call my adopted father "Tom" (his name) and my biological father "Dad," but that's just because my adopted father (aka my mom's second husband) didn't take custody over until I was 10, so I just knew him as Tom, and I would see my bio father once a year or so and knew him as Dad.
 
... and people wonder why I stay single. People lack morals in today's society. I'll keep to myself.
 
kennykyle said:
Wes, you are a poster boy for pearls stereotype!
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I'd agree with you but my dad didn't leave my mother until after my freshman year of college.

Having said that, PearlWatson may just have inherited the title of Douche of the Board. Jesus. But yeah, a couple should just stick together for the kids, and the environment that comes with that be damned.
 
I like you Wes so don't take this personal.

But you would never fit in my family. Of the top of my head I can think of 10 adopted family members in family. Adoption is very intrigual part of my family and we would be devestated without those members (which include myself, adopted twice actually).

Adoption is another way for God to get people where they truly belong.
 
nightmare3983 said:
I don't doubt that at all.
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I actually posted a very mean post and then immediately went back and self censored myself against my desire to get mean in difference to the families and children (even though I don't even understand my own) that may read this site.
 
Wes Mantooth said:
I'd agree with you but my dad didn't leave my mother until after my freshman year of college.

Having said that, PearlWatson may just have inherited the title of Douche of the Board. Jesus. But yeah, a couple should just stick together for the kids, and the environment that comes with that be damned.
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I'll admit affairs are one damn good reason to divorce.
I just provided the effects on divorce on kids, but parents have a choice in the environment they create if they stay.
 
Stoked said:
I like you Wes so don't take this personal.

But you would never fit in my family. Of the top of my head I can think of 10 adopted family members in family. Adoption is very intrigual part of my family and we would be devestated without those members (which include myself, adopted twice actually).

Adoption is another way for God to get people where they truly belong.
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I'm not sure where this came from but I am going to go curl into a ball and cry now.
 
PearlWatson said:
I'll admit affairs are one damn good reason to divorce.
I just provided the effects on divorce on kids, but parents have a choice in the environment they create if they stay.
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Yeah, they should just tough it out and win the Academy Award for the next decade until the kids are out of the house. Because the kids won't be able to pull that veil back and see the reality that is their sham.
 
Stoked said:
YOu can take your advocacy for children and piss off.


This is a much edited version and I'd advise you to keep your damn assumptions on anything related to my daughters to your god damn self.
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I guess I shouldn't have addressed your personal situation despite you using it as an example. I choose not to get personal myself for this reason.
 
Wes Mantooth said:
I'm not sure where this came from but I am going to go curl into a ball and cry now.
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Perhaps I read to much into your post but I took this from your comment on nature over nurture to mean that you'd place biology over who you raised. MY family is the opposite is all. It is all about who we claim as our own.
 
PearlWatson said:
I guess I shouldn't have addressed your personal situation despite you using it as an example. I choose not to get personal myself for this reason.
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Where you crossed a line with me is assuming you knew more about my daughters than I do. Interesting to note is that you are the only one I have seen cross that line on here.
 
Stoked said:
Perhaps I read to much into your post but I took this from your comment on nature over nurture to mean that you'd place biology over who you raised. MY family is the opposite is all. It is all about who we claim as our own.
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No, no, no, not at all. One of my best friends is in fact adopted bro. I just see so much of myself in my dad, personality traits, morals, physical issues, and so on. I simply took the post down because I didn't feel like getting into a long drawn out conversation over it. I also quickly realized that all of these issues may obviously come from the way I was raised, not simple genetics.

Trust me, I have a ton of respect for people who adopt or are adopted.
 
Wes Mantooth said:
Yeah, they should just tough it out and win the Academy Award for the next decade until the kids are out of the house. Because the kids won't be able to pull that veil back and see the reality that is their sham.
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It is their choice.
I think parents who choose to are heroes.
 
Stoked said:
Where you crossed a line with me is assuming you knew more about my daughters than I do. Interesting to note is that you are the only one I have seen cross that line on here.
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Assuming they are hurt by divorce?
I thought that's a damn given for all kids of divorce.
It's a bad habit I need to shake.
 
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