I'll jump back into the stream here. Stoked, what is this "rule" you speak of? I know you are a man with great respect for rules, so I'm interested in what it might be, because I don't see one. It seems like Triangle Man may also know what the rule is, so he should feel free to answer this question, too.
As for this stuff about racism, I'll be brief.
It's naive to think we can behold each man for what he truly is and thereby suffer him not any single shortsightedness whatsoever. There is no such thing as this bare perception, just as there is no such thing as a universal dispassionate ethics which we might apply to him if we saw him so, just as there is no essential self in others for us to behold. Anyway, the very premise of seeing the individual, and then conjuring some personal act of our own after having judged him, is broken. This is already a liberal conceit. It already betrays a prejudice towards the likes of perceiving a man.
The modern form of racism is a real thing that has been borne and carried along by the last 500 years, and has been punctuated by several particularly brutal epics. It's naive to think that it's gone or fading, just as it's naive to think it hasn't change during this time. I dont spend much time pondering the stupid question of whether it has increased or decreased in some quantitative sense. Rather, I am concerned about our unwillingness to talk about the aggressive forms it's currently taking, and by the present roll-back of corrective measures being executed by a proud history-lite set of governors and legislators.
I don't let the differences I immediately perceive in each man lead me to judging him in some essential way. I always stop short of phrases like, "he IS this sort or person." Instead, I let difference itself convince me that he has a very different perspective on the world, and I'd be better off if I figured out what it was as we engaged in some collective effort (even if that is just a conversation, or a walk across his land or mine). Difference should be a cause for excitement, not paranoia and rules. In fact, each interaction is an invitation to re-write every rule there is. Even though I did not come up through a prejudiced community, it'd be dishonest to say that it didn't take work for me to shed the prejudicial weight of our whole society. If you dont think that the history of racism is alive and affecting you, I've been convinced you're wrong.