Well I could write a book about it but in a nutshell. My wife was lying to my face from the moment we met and I was shocked 16 years later to find out she was communicating with five or six men over the internet pretending to be some battered wife (not true) and carrying on sexual conversations all along telling me she loved me and being intimate with me. She was planning on meeting her high school sweetheart for a chance to rekindle the romance when I caught her. Not only was she having inappropriate conversations she was mocking me and making fun of me. Then she would climb in our bed and pretend like everything was ok. The day before she asked me for a divorce she hugged me and called me her soulmate. Yes I too was shocked the next day when she screamed our marriage is over.
Now to understand the betrayal you have to understand what I did to deserve to be treated this way. Nothing. I raised her two kids as my own and today I have a better relationship with them then they do with her. I paid for her to finish her degree which lead to immediate advancement and the majority of times watched the children so she could go to school or attend a last minute meeting she had at work. Then one day she came home from work and told me that her company was going to close their plant in CA and move to MA. She needed to know in 48 hrs if she could tell her company to keep her on the move list. We argued a little and then she told me that her company was promising her the "golden" parachute which means she would retire early and receive a retirement package worth about 2 million dollars. So I got on board and said I would support her. Yes, I am a grown man so I have some of the responsibility of moving but my decisions were based upon her lies. I would have never moved knowing she was planning on divorcing me, not even for the money.
Unfortunately, this was a lie there was a discussion but no promise of this deal, I would later find out that she was flirting with her boss and they were discussing having an affair. Whether they did I do not know but they traveled internationally a lot together. She also would later tell me that she knew she wanted a divorce in CA but let me quit my career at a company that I had worked for 11 years. Yes, still shocks me when I think about it. What kind of a person does that?
So we move to NH and she works in MA and I am staying home taking care of the kids and she is traveling to Italy, China, France, Sweden, Poland and the UK. This job was suppose to last 2-3 years but after 4 years I wanted to go back to work but couldn't because she was traveling. She then took another job but was still coming home at leaving at 5 and coming home at 7 or 8 o'clock. So there were problems at this point but I continued to be the good little husband thinking that we were working as a team to meet our goals. That is when out of the blue she ask for a divorce. After announcing she wanted a divorce, I moved out and she started missing my contributions and me (according to her), we were getting along and trying to make it work. We got to the point where we were going to go on vacation to rekindle our relationship. I planned a trip to FL and asked her numerous times if she was sure she wanted to go on the trip. She said she was looking forward to this and I booked the hotel room and plane tickets and bought concert tickets. Two day before we are suppose to go she bails and says she cannot do it. I was upset but left the house. She would claim later that I wouldn't leave and she felt threatened. Another lie, I found out through my daughter that she went camping with a man and my ex slept in his tent and my daughter had to sleep in another tent with some other kids. She had been talking to this guy all along while we were trying to reconcile. Yes I was a fool. By now I should have learned but nevertheless it was another dagger in my heart.
You would think this would be the end of the lying but she started claiming I was abusive to her and filed a restraining order. I went to court and won my case. My stepdaughter even wrote a letter to the court saying that I had never hit or threatened her mother with violence. Even the judge looked at her and said what are you doing? This betrayal hurt my soul. I have always tried to be a kind person and avoid physical confrontations. Besides I was raise by my Mother and 3 sisters to never hit a woman. If I did they would gang up on me. LOL For the net 3 years we battled in court and she tried to have me arrested twice still claiming I was abusive. This betrayal was the hardest considering all the sacrificing I had done for her and the fact that at one time I would have taken a bullet for her. I still remember reading an email where she was flattering some guy and I just realized I had been conned. It was devastating to me. It took me about 6-7 years to feel normal after that. I still have some trust issues with woman and have only dated one woman. I am forever changed but it isn't all bad because I was too trusting before. I also have found peace and realized that it was more about the person she is and not what I was dong wrong. I made mistakes but no one deserves to experience what I did. This is the basic story without all the goring details. I seriously could make a lifetime movie out of it. I have moved on even though the scares remain.