Murder Among the Mormons


cowhide

Well-Known Member
If you would like to share, I would like to listen to your experience

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app
Well I could write a book about it but in a nutshell. My wife was lying to my face from the moment we met and I was shocked 16 years later to find out she was communicating with five or six men over the internet pretending to be some battered wife (not true) and carrying on sexual conversations all along telling me she loved me and being intimate with me. She was planning on meeting her high school sweetheart for a chance to rekindle the romance when I caught her. Not only was she having inappropriate conversations she was mocking me and making fun of me. Then she would climb in our bed and pretend like everything was ok. The day before she asked me for a divorce she hugged me and called me her soulmate. Yes I too was shocked the next day when she screamed our marriage is over.

Now to understand the betrayal you have to understand what I did to deserve to be treated this way. Nothing. I raised her two kids as my own and today I have a better relationship with them then they do with her. I paid for her to finish her degree which lead to immediate advancement and the majority of times watched the children so she could go to school or attend a last minute meeting she had at work. Then one day she came home from work and told me that her company was going to close their plant in CA and move to MA. She needed to know in 48 hrs if she could tell her company to keep her on the move list. We argued a little and then she told me that her company was promising her the "golden" parachute which means she would retire early and receive a retirement package worth about 2 million dollars. So I got on board and said I would support her. Yes, I am a grown man so I have some of the responsibility of moving but my decisions were based upon her lies. I would have never moved knowing she was planning on divorcing me, not even for the money.
Unfortunately, this was a lie there was a discussion but no promise of this deal, I would later find out that she was flirting with her boss and they were discussing having an affair. Whether they did I do not know but they traveled internationally a lot together. She also would later tell me that she knew she wanted a divorce in CA but let me quit my career at a company that I had worked for 11 years. Yes, still shocks me when I think about it. What kind of a person does that?

So we move to NH and she works in MA and I am staying home taking care of the kids and she is traveling to Italy, China, France, Sweden, Poland and the UK. This job was suppose to last 2-3 years but after 4 years I wanted to go back to work but couldn't because she was traveling. She then took another job but was still coming home at leaving at 5 and coming home at 7 or 8 o'clock. So there were problems at this point but I continued to be the good little husband thinking that we were working as a team to meet our goals. That is when out of the blue she ask for a divorce. After announcing she wanted a divorce, I moved out and she started missing my contributions and me (according to her), we were getting along and trying to make it work. We got to the point where we were going to go on vacation to rekindle our relationship. I planned a trip to FL and asked her numerous times if she was sure she wanted to go on the trip. She said she was looking forward to this and I booked the hotel room and plane tickets and bought concert tickets. Two day before we are suppose to go she bails and says she cannot do it. I was upset but left the house. She would claim later that I wouldn't leave and she felt threatened. Another lie, I found out through my daughter that she went camping with a man and my ex slept in his tent and my daughter had to sleep in another tent with some other kids. She had been talking to this guy all along while we were trying to reconcile. Yes I was a fool. By now I should have learned but nevertheless it was another dagger in my heart.

You would think this would be the end of the lying but she started claiming I was abusive to her and filed a restraining order. I went to court and won my case. My stepdaughter even wrote a letter to the court saying that I had never hit or threatened her mother with violence. Even the judge looked at her and said what are you doing? This betrayal hurt my soul. I have always tried to be a kind person and avoid physical confrontations. Besides I was raise by my Mother and 3 sisters to never hit a woman. If I did they would gang up on me. LOL For the net 3 years we battled in court and she tried to have me arrested twice still claiming I was abusive. This betrayal was the hardest considering all the sacrificing I had done for her and the fact that at one time I would have taken a bullet for her. I still remember reading an email where she was flattering some guy and I just realized I had been conned. It was devastating to me. It took me about 6-7 years to feel normal after that. I still have some trust issues with woman and have only dated one woman. I am forever changed but it isn't all bad because I was too trusting before. I also have found peace and realized that it was more about the person she is and not what I was dong wrong. I made mistakes but no one deserves to experience what I did. This is the basic story without all the goring details. I seriously could make a lifetime movie out of it. I have moved on even though the scares remain.
 


JazzGal

Well-Known Member
Contributor
Well I could write a book about it but in a nutshell. My wife was lying to my face from the moment we met and I was shocked 16 years later to find out she was communicating with five or six men over the internet pretending to be some battered wife (not true) and carrying on sexual conversations all along telling me she loved me and being intimate with me. She was planning on meeting her high school sweetheart for a chance to rekindle the romance when I caught her. Not only was she having inappropriate conversations she was mocking me and making fun of me. Then she would climb in our bed and pretend like everything was ok. The day before she asked me for a divorce she hugged me and called me her soulmate. Yes I too was shocked the next day when she screamed our marriage is over.

Now to understand the betrayal you have to understand what I did to deserve to be treated this way. Nothing. I raised her two kids as my own and today I have a better relationship with them then they do with her. I paid for her to finish her degree which lead to immediate advancement and the majority of times watched the children so she could go to school or attend a last minute meeting she had at work. Then one day she came home from work and told me that her company was going to close their plant in CA and move to MA. She needed to know in 48 hrs if she could tell her company to keep her on the move list. We argued a little and then she told me that her company was promising her the "golden" parachute which means she would retire early and receive a retirement package worth about 2 million dollars. So I got on board and said I would support her. Yes, I am a grown man so I have some of the responsibility of moving but my decisions were based upon her lies. I would have never moved knowing she was planning on divorcing me, not even for the money.
Unfortunately, this was a lie there was a discussion but no promise of this deal, I would later find out that she was flirting with her boss and they were discussing having an affair. Whether they did I do not know but they traveled internationally a lot together. She also would later tell me that she knew she wanted a divorce in CA but let me quit my career at a company that I had worked for 11 years. Yes, still shocks me when I think about it. What kind of a person does that?

So we move to NH and she works in MA and I am staying home taking care of the kids and she is traveling to Italy, China, France, Sweden, Poland and the UK. This job was suppose to last 2-3 years but after 4 years I wanted to go back to work but couldn't because she was traveling. She then took another job but was still coming home at leaving at 5 and coming home at 7 or 8 o'clock. So there were problems at this point but I continued to be the good little husband thinking that we were working as a team to meet our goals. That is when out of the blue she ask for a divorce. After announcing she wanted a divorce, I moved out and she started missing my contributions and me (according to her), we were getting along and trying to make it work. We got to the point where we were going to go on vacation to rekindle our relationship. I planned a trip to FL and asked her numerous times if she was sure she wanted to go on the trip. She said she was looking forward to this and I booked the hotel room and plane tickets and bought concert tickets. Two day before we are suppose to go she bails and says she cannot do it. I was upset but left the house. She would claim later that I wouldn't leave and she felt threatened. Another lie, I found out through my daughter that she went camping with a man and my ex slept in his tent and my daughter had to sleep in another tent with some other kids. She had been talking to this guy all along while we were trying to reconcile. Yes I was a fool. By now I should have learned but nevertheless it was another dagger in my heart.

You would think this would be the end of the lying but she started claiming I was abusive to her and filed a restraining order. I went to court and won my case. My stepdaughter even wrote a letter to the court saying that I had never hit or threatened her mother with violence. Even the judge looked at her and said what are you doing? This betrayal hurt my soul. I have always tried to be a kind person and avoid physical confrontations. Besides I was raise by my Mother and 3 sisters to never hit a woman. If I did they would gang up on me. LOL For the net 3 years we battled in court and she tried to have me arrested twice still claiming I was abusive. This betrayal was the hardest considering all the sacrificing I had done for her and the fact that at one time I would have taken a bullet for her. I still remember reading an email where she was flattering some guy and I just realized I had been conned. It was devastating to me. It took me about 6-7 years to feel normal after that. I still have some trust issues with woman and have only dated one woman. I am forever changed but it isn't all bad because I was too trusting before. I also have found peace and realized that it was more about the person she is and not what I was dong wrong. I made mistakes but no one deserves to experience what I did. This is the basic story without all the goring details. I seriously could make a lifetime movie out of it. I have moved on even though the scares remain.
That's a horrible thing to go through. Hope you have better days ahead.

Sent from my moto z3 using JazzFanz mobile app
 

babe

Well-Known Member
I'm old enough, and was interested enough to follow all this when it was in the news.

I already knew the penchant of LDS historians and apologists for cleaning up the LDS story. I was disgusted that the LDS Church was already paying Madison Avenue advertising agencies to polish the Mormon image for the public mind, not to mention write the missionary tracts.

I can't say anyone actually believed the documents were real so much as they wanted to buy them and stuff them in the vault when not even LDS general authorities get to see them without permission from belly of the beast, meaning the public relations staff in the Office.

When I saw the title to this thread I thought it was going to be about Porter Rockwell killing ex-Gov Lilburn Boggs on Joseph Smith's pleadings and the whole Danite band.

Or maybe about how Nephi killed bloodlessly killed Laban and lied to get the Brass Plates.

But hey, anyone ever notice the story of Dinah in the Bible? Probably about fifty murders there.

Still really small potatoes compared to Hitler, Stalin, Mao, or Pol Pot. Or Longshanks or any of a dozen English kings. Not to mention about every other king orf contender for the public eye in 100,000 years of human history.
 

Engorged On Unborn Gore

Well-Known Member
I think if Hinckley admitted that he was requesting direct deposit money (from First Security Bank) in order to pay Hoffman for the documents, you would be able to call it human fallibility.

But when police investigators questioned him about it he claimed that he didn’t even know who Mark Hoffman was. Thus, the church was able to avoid legal consequences, and Hinckley was never subpoenaed for the case.

It’s just dishonest.
 

fishonjazz

Well-Known Member
Contributor
2018 Award Winner
2019 Award Winner
2020-21 Award Winner
Well I could write a book about it but in a nutshell. My wife was lying to my face from the moment we met and I was shocked 16 years later to find out she was communicating with five or six men over the internet pretending to be some battered wife (not true) and carrying on sexual conversations all along telling me she loved me and being intimate with me. She was planning on meeting her high school sweetheart for a chance to rekindle the romance when I caught her. Not only was she having inappropriate conversations she was mocking me and making fun of me. Then she would climb in our bed and pretend like everything was ok. The day before she asked me for a divorce she hugged me and called me her soulmate. Yes I too was shocked the next day when she screamed our marriage is over.

Now to understand the betrayal you have to understand what I did to deserve to be treated this way. Nothing. I raised her two kids as my own and today I have a better relationship with them then they do with her. I paid for her to finish her degree which lead to immediate advancement and the majority of times watched the children so she could go to school or attend a last minute meeting she had at work. Then one day she came home from work and told me that her company was going to close their plant in CA and move to MA. She needed to know in 48 hrs if she could tell her company to keep her on the move list. We argued a little and then she told me that her company was promising her the "golden" parachute which means she would retire early and receive a retirement package worth about 2 million dollars. So I got on board and said I would support her. Yes, I am a grown man so I have some of the responsibility of moving but my decisions were based upon her lies. I would have never moved knowing she was planning on divorcing me, not even for the money.
Unfortunately, this was a lie there was a discussion but no promise of this deal, I would later find out that she was flirting with her boss and they were discussing having an affair. Whether they did I do not know but they traveled internationally a lot together. She also would later tell me that she knew she wanted a divorce in CA but let me quit my career at a company that I had worked for 11 years. Yes, still shocks me when I think about it. What kind of a person does that?

So we move to NH and she works in MA and I am staying home taking care of the kids and she is traveling to Italy, China, France, Sweden, Poland and the UK. This job was suppose to last 2-3 years but after 4 years I wanted to go back to work but couldn't because she was traveling. She then took another job but was still coming home at leaving at 5 and coming home at 7 or 8 o'clock. So there were problems at this point but I continued to be the good little husband thinking that we were working as a team to meet our goals. That is when out of the blue she ask for a divorce. After announcing she wanted a divorce, I moved out and she started missing my contributions and me (according to her), we were getting along and trying to make it work. We got to the point where we were going to go on vacation to rekindle our relationship. I planned a trip to FL and asked her numerous times if she was sure she wanted to go on the trip. She said she was looking forward to this and I booked the hotel room and plane tickets and bought concert tickets. Two day before we are suppose to go she bails and says she cannot do it. I was upset but left the house. She would claim later that I wouldn't leave and she felt threatened. Another lie, I found out through my daughter that she went camping with a man and my ex slept in his tent and my daughter had to sleep in another tent with some other kids. She had been talking to this guy all along while we were trying to reconcile. Yes I was a fool. By now I should have learned but nevertheless it was another dagger in my heart.

You would think this would be the end of the lying but she started claiming I was abusive to her and filed a restraining order. I went to court and won my case. My stepdaughter even wrote a letter to the court saying that I had never hit or threatened her mother with violence. Even the judge looked at her and said what are you doing? This betrayal hurt my soul. I have always tried to be a kind person and avoid physical confrontations. Besides I was raise by my Mother and 3 sisters to never hit a woman. If I did they would gang up on me. LOL For the net 3 years we battled in court and she tried to have me arrested twice still claiming I was abusive. This betrayal was the hardest considering all the sacrificing I had done for her and the fact that at one time I would have taken a bullet for her. I still remember reading an email where she was flattering some guy and I just realized I had been conned. It was devastating to me. It took me about 6-7 years to feel normal after that. I still have some trust issues with woman and have only dated one woman. I am forever changed but it isn't all bad because I was too trusting before. I also have found peace and realized that it was more about the person she is and not what I was dong wrong. I made mistakes but no one deserves to experience what I did. This is the basic story without all the goring details. I seriously could make a lifetime movie out of it. I have moved on even though the scares remain.
Thanks for sharing. Your story was riveting to read, in a sad way.
That's horrible. I can only imagine. Thank God you don't have anger issues, that type of stuff often leads to jail/prison as violence frequently follows that kind of lying and betrayal.

You deserve good fortune going forward if karma is real and there is justice in the universe.
Good luck to you

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app
 

Jazz4ever

Well-Known Member
Well I could write a book about it but in a nutshell. My wife was lying to my face from the moment we met and I was shocked 16 years later to find out she was communicating with five or six men over the internet pretending to be some battered wife (not true) and carrying on sexual conversations all along telling me she loved me and being intimate with me. She was planning on meeting her high school sweetheart for a chance to rekindle the romance when I caught her. Not only was she having inappropriate conversations she was mocking me and making fun of me. Then she would climb in our bed and pretend like everything was ok. The day before she asked me for a divorce she hugged me and called me her soulmate. Yes I too was shocked the next day when she screamed our marriage is over.

Now to understand the betrayal you have to understand what I did to deserve to be treated this way. Nothing. I raised her two kids as my own and today I have a better relationship with them then they do with her. I paid for her to finish her degree which lead to immediate advancement and the majority of times watched the children so she could go to school or attend a last minute meeting she had at work. Then one day she came home from work and told me that her company was going to close their plant in CA and move to MA. She needed to know in 48 hrs if she could tell her company to keep her on the move list. We argued a little and then she told me that her company was promising her the "golden" parachute which means she would retire early and receive a retirement package worth about 2 million dollars. So I got on board and said I would support her. Yes, I am a grown man so I have some of the responsibility of moving but my decisions were based upon her lies. I would have never moved knowing she was planning on divorcing me, not even for the money.
Unfortunately, this was a lie there was a discussion but no promise of this deal, I would later find out that she was flirting with her boss and they were discussing having an affair. Whether they did I do not know but they traveled internationally a lot together. She also would later tell me that she knew she wanted a divorce in CA but let me quit my career at a company that I had worked for 11 years. Yes, still shocks me when I think about it. What kind of a person does that?

So we move to NH and she works in MA and I am staying home taking care of the kids and she is traveling to Italy, China, France, Sweden, Poland and the UK. This job was suppose to last 2-3 years but after 4 years I wanted to go back to work but couldn't because she was traveling. She then took another job but was still coming home at leaving at 5 and coming home at 7 or 8 o'clock. So there were problems at this point but I continued to be the good little husband thinking that we were working as a team to meet our goals. That is when out of the blue she ask for a divorce. After announcing she wanted a divorce, I moved out and she started missing my contributions and me (according to her), we were getting along and trying to make it work. We got to the point where we were going to go on vacation to rekindle our relationship. I planned a trip to FL and asked her numerous times if she was sure she wanted to go on the trip. She said she was looking forward to this and I booked the hotel room and plane tickets and bought concert tickets. Two day before we are suppose to go she bails and says she cannot do it. I was upset but left the house. She would claim later that I wouldn't leave and she felt threatened. Another lie, I found out through my daughter that she went camping with a man and my ex slept in his tent and my daughter had to sleep in another tent with some other kids. She had been talking to this guy all along while we were trying to reconcile. Yes I was a fool. By now I should have learned but nevertheless it was another dagger in my heart.

You would think this would be the end of the lying but she started claiming I was abusive to her and filed a restraining order. I went to court and won my case. My stepdaughter even wrote a letter to the court saying that I had never hit or threatened her mother with violence. Even the judge looked at her and said what are you doing? This betrayal hurt my soul. I have always tried to be a kind person and avoid physical confrontations. Besides I was raise by my Mother and 3 sisters to never hit a woman. If I did they would gang up on me. LOL For the net 3 years we battled in court and she tried to have me arrested twice still claiming I was abusive. This betrayal was the hardest considering all the sacrificing I had done for her and the fact that at one time I would have taken a bullet for her. I still remember reading an email where she was flattering some guy and I just realized I had been conned. It was devastating to me. It took me about 6-7 years to feel normal after that. I still have some trust issues with woman and have only dated one woman. I am forever changed but it isn't all bad because I was too trusting before. I also have found peace and realized that it was more about the person she is and not what I was dong wrong. I made mistakes but no one deserves to experience what I did. This is the basic story without all the goring details. I seriously could make a lifetime movie out of it. I have moved on even though the scares remain.

Not that it will provide much solace, but nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. These people do not feel real emotion toward others, and thus are incapable of recognizing there is a problem with themselves. They are the walking cursed.
 

babe

Well-Known Member
Thanks for sharing. Your story was riveting to read, in a sad way.
That's horrible. I can only imagine. Thank God you don't have anger issues, that type of stuff often leads to jail/prison as violence frequently follows that kind of lying and betrayal.

You deserve good fortune going forward if karma is real and there is justice in the universe.
Good luck to you

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app

I found cowhide's story compelling enough to be true. Like some of my stories. They say truth is stranger than fiction, and no one will believe it if you tell it straight.

I have thought of writing a novel about my first marriage, with appropriate embellishments and improvements to the story line, and with all the appropriate PC considerations du jour, but I have decided that if it were a success, it'd take about a month before it drew attention from the Woke Historical Revisionists, who actually never quit changing their minds about what is acceptable truth, and it'd be banned on Amazon before I could make a living from it.

But seriously, my heartfelt sympathies for not only cowhide, but his first wife who obviously is suffering terribly from all she's been through as well, especially if it actually is her own fault. I'd find it harder to live with myself than I could bear if I'd done half the things she did. And, really, nobody can really just totally miss seeing a few of their own problems.
 

babe

Well-Known Member
Not that it will provide much solace, but nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. These people do not feel real emotion toward others, and thus are incapable of recognizing there is a problem with themselves. They are the walking cursed.

Perhaps you are right. This is how life looks to true sociopaths, I'm afraid. I persist in hope that there may be an awakening at some point, on purpose, because I love these people anyway.
 

Jazzmix

Well-Known Member
I found that documentary fascinating, being from Europe I never heard anything about it so it was quite a twist to learn that Hoffman was responsible for murders and a forger.
There is another netflix documentary about forgeries called Made You Look: The True Story About Fake Art. It's about quite contemporary art but also interesting.
But the most amazing forger of all the times must be Van Meegeren, Dutch who was faking Vermeer paintings during the WW2. You can watch about him on youtube:
 

cowhide

Well-Known Member
Thanks for sharing. Your story was riveting to read, in a sad way.
That's horrible. I can only imagine. Thank God you don't have anger issues, that type of stuff often leads to jail/prison as violence frequently follows that kind of lying and betrayal.

You deserve good fortune going forward if karma is real and there is justice in the universe.
Good luck to you

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app
Thank you for your kind words. What got me through it was the support of a few good friends, my sister and my kids. I am a lucky guy because I have three kids who love me and know the kind of man I am. My ex has turned to alcohol to numb her pain and it is just sad because she has really no relationship with her kids.
 

cowhide

Well-Known Member
Not that it will provide much solace, but nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. These people do not feel real emotion toward others, and thus are incapable of recognizing there is a problem with themselves. They are the walking cursed.
I agree. It took me too many years to figure this out because I was so emotionally hurt. Once I understood that she is incapable of having real empathy towards other, then I was able to heal. I waited years for an apology that was never going to come. LOL.
 

cowhide

Well-Known Member
I found cowhide's story compelling enough to be true. Like some of my stories. They say truth is stranger than fiction, and no one will believe it if you tell it straight.

I have thought of writing a novel about my first marriage, with appropriate embellishments and improvements to the story line, and with all the appropriate PC considerations du jour, but I have decided that if it were a success, it'd take about a month before it drew attention from tI he Woke Historical Revisionists, who actually never quit changing their minds about what is acceptable truth, and it'd be banned on Amazon before I could make a living from it.

But seriously, my heartfelt sympathies for not only cowhide, but his first wife who obviously is suffering terribly from all she's been through as well, especially if it actually is her own fault. I'd find it harder to live with myself than I could bear if I'd done half the things she did. And, really, nobody can really just totally miss seeing a few of their own problems.
What I wrote is true and just a slice of what happened. I lived it and I have a hard time believing some one could act the way she act towards me. I am not perfect but I tried everything to make her happy. I lost myself and gave up too much of me to make it work. I do not regret staying because I provided stability for my kids. I have great relationships with all three of my kids. I am proud of this since I grew up with an abusive father and an absentee one. Time has a way of giving us a more objective view on life. Nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome because my ex is a sociopath who is not capable of being honest or have true empathy. I am lucky that it wasn't worse and I could have lost my life. Yes I think she was capable of harming me. She had her BF and his Companion stake out my house. My neighbor warned me about it. Her brother had gone through a divorce and had similar situation.

Anyway my point isn't to discuss everything that happened or speculate what could have happened. What I learned is that even in marriage that one needs to keep something for themselves and that 100 percent trust is a risky thing to have. I learned that some people do not survive a tragic childhood. I learned that she had lied about her upbringing because it was too embarrassing for her and painful. Her lying was the way she coped. Not good for a successful relationship but it helped me to find some forgiveness towards her. I have taken the things I cannot forgive and put them in my suitcase and in the closet. I mostly feel sorry or pity for her and sadness for my children because they missed out on having a healthy mother. The sadness pops up every so often when I see my kids struggle. For the most part I have moved on and live my life and look forward to better days ahead.
 

Top