Question for Mormons

[Saltair's Finest]

He seems to know everything, that is why I thought I'd ask.

how would You know? Do u know him?

 

[NAOS]

Id prefer not to Talk about it because one thing he always taught Me is that someones Religion is theres and theres only

how U doin Franklin?

 

[NAOS]

c'mon Mr. Ginger... what did you ACTUALLY do (besides waiting to go on a mission) that was so controversial/ostracizing?

 

[NAOS]

Alright Franklin, you owe me a negative 1:

from Saltair:
Thread: Question for Mormons
my name is Charlie please re read some of these Other threads Im sick of having to defend myself and post pics proving Im Charlie

 

[Thee Jazz Fan]

If my wife had been a nonmember I still would've married her, although I'm not going to lie and say it's not super important to me to marry a member.

 

[Dr. Jones]

If my wife had been a nonmember I still would've married her, although I'm not going to lie and say it's not super important to me to marry a member.

Wait, you're gay?

 

[Surely]

I've said it before, but here it is again for those who missed it. A little bit of wisdom that was handed down to me (on my mission of all places): It is easier to make a pretty girl Mormon, than a Mormon girl pretty.

 

[Dr. Jones]

I've said it before, but here it is again for those who missed it. A little bit of wisdom that was handed down to me (on my mission of all places): It is easier to make a pretty girl Mormon, than a Mormon girl pretty.

Good stuff.

 

[NAOS]

I've said it before, but here it is again for those who missed it. A little bit of wisdom that was handed down to me (on my mission of all places): It is easier to make a pretty girl Mormon, than a Mormon girl pretty.

actually, this is an absolutely disgusting comment.
I hope you suffer endlessly in search of your objects and conversions.

 

[Saltair's Finest]

i know we Are only 18 but Ive been with my gf for a while And we dont really talk about marriage And im going to college out of state and shes going out East so we dunno if well Stay together but if we Dont I dont care what religion a girl believes as Long as she is a good person and honest and loyal. My parents were different Religions and I dont think theyd care if I married someone who believed in something that was different From are beliefs.

 

[Gameface]

Do you have tourettes in the pinky-finger you operate the shift key with or what?

 

[Mr. McGibblets]

I've never heard anyone told what they can and can't do with their spouse as long as what they do is only with their spouse.

Interesting .. I've heard it multiple times. Maybe I should be getting a complex that they're really just trying to talk me out of Mormonism .. I must not be good material.

Thank goodness it's not true.

PKM's friends are not incorrect. Traditionally, anything went and it was between man and wife. Not after the sex-crazed 60s and 70s though.

[T]he Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has formulated no special rules governing the associations of married people. . . . [A]s to their mutual conduct in the marital relation, so far as sexual intercourse is concerned, they are left entirely free.
- Joseph F. Smith, 1905, President of the Church

Again in 1971 by Joseph Fielding Smith (Joseph F. Smith's son):

The Brethren feel that the question which you raise is such as should be answered by you and your husband and in accordance with your own convictions. The Church has never believed it necessary to issue instructions pertaining to intimate relations between husband and wife.

However, many Mormons are not aware of how involved the church has tried to be in people's bedrooms despite not traditionally having "official" policies against certain acts. Come on, was a church and a leader who was married to multiple women, and often without his wife's knowledge, going to be the arbiter of sexual positions and acts? No.

But once the polygamy era ended then the raucous 1960s and 70s arrived things changed. Especially when the seemingly asexual Spencer W. Kimball finally had the final say on all things policy and doctrine. And I would guess that PKM's business partners are in their 40s-60s and were young married couples when their beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball made statements like these:

The union of the sexes, husband and wife (and only husband and wife) was for the principal purpose of bringing children into the world. Sexual experiences were never intended by the Lord to be a mere plaything or merely to satisfy passions and lusts. We know of no directive from the Lord that proper sexual experience between husbands and wives need be limited totally to the procreation of children, but we find much evidence from Adam until now that no provision was ever made by the Lord for indiscriminate sex.

"If it is unnatural, you just don't do it. That is all, and all the family life should be kept clean and worthy and on a very high plane. There are some people who have said that behind the bedroom doors anything goes. That is not true and the Lord would not condone it."
- President Spencer W. Kimball,

Married persons should understand that if in their marital relations they are guilty of unnatural, impure, or unholy practices, they should not enter the temple unless and until they repent and discontinue any such practices. Husbands and wives who are aware of these requirements can determine by themselves their standing before the Lord. All of this should be conveyed without having priesthood leaders focus upon intimate matters which are a part of husband and wife relationships. . . . The First Presidency has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice.

Rumor has it that this letter led to a lot of Bishops inquiring about couple's marital acts. Three months later, the church released the following order:

never inquire into personal, intimate matters involving a man and his wife,

Then in 1998 the handbook for leaders says this:

exual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.

See https://www.i4m.com/think/sexuality/.

So you have a prophet saying no Oral, but there is no enforcement of it. So although you will never be asked if you have oral sex with your wife, there will undoubtedly be leaders and other members who believe it is an "unholy and impure practice." Additionally, there have been recent talks (I don't want to find the exact quotes) that talk about making sure you do not do things that are "disrespectful" or make your spouse "uncomfortable." I think we all have our own idea of what he's hinting at - and that is a problem. We all have our own ideas. A super conservative sheltered Mormon might think anything other than missionary is disrespectful or it makes them uncomfortable. While others have no such qualms.

Additionally, you are discounting the non-official cultural rules that are passed from a Bishop to newly married couples. Although Bishops are not supposed to inquire into a married couple's activities, they are still permitted to counsel couples about to get married concerning how they should act in the bedroom. I was told not to do anything that would make my wife uncomfortable. Fortunately, my wanky is small enough to fit places that my wife remains comfortable, but that's another matter entirely.


In any case, don't be surprised if you hear older people have opinions about oral sex being against our code while younger people would have no idea that it has ever officially been discussed.


PKM - Mormons vary wildly. I know of some downright freaks in the bedroom who are the biggest prudes socially. I'm sure you probably have met some like this too. This happens everywhere, including with members of the Mormon church.

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POLL QUESTION:

Myself - it was important to me when I got married and I would have not likely ever married a non-Mormon precisely due to the doctrinal reasons for it - achieving salvation/exaltation required a temple marriage (which required both to be church members). Now, I believe differently so it is not an issue at all. I am currently married, but if I divorced or my wife died then I would not care if I married a Mormon or non-Mormon. If they were Mormon though, I would only date less active Mormons or an ex-Mormon. Having a spouse that understands or is familiar with the culture would be nice, but I am not really active in the church and am agnostic in my beliefs so I could not be happy with someone super active or an orthodox believer.

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MORE FUN MORMON QUOTES ON SEX:

"Marriage is both a commandment and an exalting principle of the gospel. Because it is ordained of God, the intimate physical expressions of married love are sacred. Yet all too commonly, these divine gifts are desecrated. If a couple allows lewd language or pornography to corrupt their intimacy, they offend their Creator while they degrade and diminish their own divine gifts. True happiness is predicated upon personal purity. Scripture commands: "Be ye clean." Marriage should ever be a covenant to lift husbands and wives to exaltation in celestial glory."
-Russell M. Nelson

"....show your profound respect for that love—and for the doctrines about eternal love and family life—by bridling your passions. Don’t be deceived by the false idea that anything short of the sex act itself is okay. That is a lie, not only because one step overpoweringly leads to another, but because even touching another person’s body with sexual intent is part of the intimacy that is kept holy by the sanctuary of chastity. Please also beware of unnatural sexual acts that are just as immoral, if not worse, than traditional fornication or adultery."
- Elder Bruce C. Hafen, “Your Longing for Family Joy,” Ensign, Oct. 2003, page 28

"Married persons should understand that if in their marital relations they are guilty of unnatural, impure, or unholy practices, they should not enter the temple unless and until they repent and discontinue any such practices. Husbands and wives who are aware of these requirements can determine by themselves their standing before the Lord."

"All of this should be conveyed without having priesthood leaders focus upon intimate matters which are a part of husband and wife relationships. Skillful interviewing and counseling can occur without discussion of clinical details by placing firm responsibility on individual members of the Church to put their lives in order before exercising the privilege of entering a house of the Lord. The First Presidency [including Gordon B. Hinckley] has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice. If a person is engaged in a practice which troubles him enough to ask about it, he should discontinue it."
- Official Declaration of the First Presidency of the Church - Including Gordon B. Hinckley, January 5th, 1982

"I was shocked to have you raise the question about `oral lovemaking in the genital area among married couples.' Heaven forbid any such degrading activities which would be abhorrent in the sight of the Lord. For any Latter-day Saint... to engage in any kind of perversions of this sacred God-given gift of procreation would be sure to bring down the condemnation of the Lord whom we would offend were we to engage in any such practice."
- Church President Harold B. Lee

Hell, just go read this page if you want more: https://www.i4m.com/think/sexuality/mormon_oral_sex.htm