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Too tight? You could land a jumbo ****ing jet in there.
 
You see in this world there's two kinds of people my friend - those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
 
Now look, squire, you're the guv'nor here, I can see that. I'm in your manor now. So there's no need to get your knickers in a twist. Whatever this bollocks is that's going down between you and that slag Valentine, it's got nothing to do with me. I couldn't care less. Alright, mate? Let me explain. When I was in prison - second time - uh, no, telling a lie, third stretch, yeah, third, third - there was this screw what really had it in for me, and that geezer was top of my list. Two years after I got sprung, I sees him in Holland Park. He's sittin' on a bench feedin' bloody pigeons. There was no-one about, I could've gone up behind him and snapped his ****in' neck, *wallop!* But I left it. I could've knobbled him, but I didn't. 'Cause what I thought I wanted wasn't what I wanted. What I thought I was thinkin' about was something else. I didn't give a toss. It didn't matter, see? This berk on the bench wasn't worth my time. It meant sod-all in the end, 'cause you gotta make a choice: when to do something, and when to let it go. When it matters, and when it don't. Bide your time. That's what prison teaches you, if nothing else. Bide your time, and everything becomes clear, and you can act accordingly.
 
I'm insane? For five years I begged you, "Let's put him in a home!" No, you didn't want to because you didn't have the balls! None of you have any balls!
 
If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night, I swear by God and sunny Jesus you'll all visit the infirmary.
 
Like I told my last wife, I says, “Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.”
 
“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate” (spoken with a Deep South accent)
 
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
 
Of course you weren’t in an accident, now it’s ****ing, it’s attempted murder!
 
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