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Stupid Pet Peeves

Bulletproof said:
I tell young people that marriage is a trap. I honestly can't recommend anyone get married. I've known far too many middle aged men living in crummy apartments paying 60-70% of their income to keep their ex-wife and kids in a nice middle-class home. Either the rules have to change or men should absolutely reject marriage.
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I'm a happily married guy for 13 years but this post is pretty true. Unless you absolutely can't live without her, don't do it.

I think the hardest part of the whole thing is the age we live in. So many freaking distractions lead to bad thoughts. I'm not talking about porn, but just so much to do which keeps people from doing the things they need to do. Instead of going places and doing things, you watch people go places and do things on TV, social media, etc. And of course all those people seem cooler, hotter, more interesting.

This post is also true when it comes to kids. Used to be that everything was shared and the "village helped to raise the kid." Now, the village is overpriced daycare and everything is so expensive. So if it doesn't work out with the wife, **** is too expensive plus the kids will suffer with divorce. I wouldn't want life any other way, but it's freaking tough.

Moral of the story - get married if money isn't an issue. If money might be an issue, get married only if you can't live without her.
 
LoPo said:
I'm a happily married guy for 13 years but this post is pretty true. Unless you absolutely can't live without her, don't do it.

I think the hardest part of the whole thing is the age we live in. So many freaking distractions lead to bad thoughts. I'm not talking about porn, but just so much to do which keeps people from doing the things they need to do. Instead of going places and doing things, you watch people go places and do things on TV, social media, etc. And of course all those people seem cooler, hotter, more interesting.

This post is also true when it comes to kids. Used to be that everything was shared and the "village helped to raise the kid." Now, the village is overpriced daycare and everything is so expensive. So if it doesn't work out with the wife, **** is too expensive plus the kids will suffer with divorce. I wouldn't want life any other way, but it's freaking tough.

Moral of the story - get married if money isn't an issue. If money might be an issue, get married only if you can't live without her.
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I don't think you have to get married if you can't live without here. Marriage is not required for a long-term (life-long) committed relationship.

The single biggest and somewhat common sense reasonable change I would make is that currently child support is based on providing your dependant spouse (if she has primary custody) and children with a lifestyle that they have been accustomed to during the marriage. The lifestyle of the provider is not a consideration. The change I would make is that you are not required to provide a better lifestyle for your ex-spouse than you are able to provide for yourself. Equal quality of life.

One of the biggest harms of the current system is that the kids live in a cozy house in a nice neighborhood with mom, then spend every other weekend sleeping on the couch and the floor in dad's ghetto apartment. Dad can't afford cable, expensive food, other forms of entertainment, so kids sit in crummy dad's apartment hating life, just waiting to get back to their "real" house.

I would also like to see reform as far as who primary guardianship is given to. In Utah especially the woman will get custody unless she's beyond, well beyond, unfit. Just horribly unfit, she'll still get the kids and still get the child support.

I also think it should be encouraged that child support be provided in material ways vs a payment to the ex-spouse. For example, you take the kids clothes shopping. You buy the kids food. You pay for the soccer league they are in. If that doesn't add up to what you owe, or you're a guy who doesn't want that kind of involvement with your kids, sure, send the ex a check for the difference. But What I see a lot of is a father who does a lot of that, gets credit for none of it and sends a huge chunk of his income to the ex who often isn't really spending all that money on the kids.
 
Yeah, the child support system is pretty poorly designed. They are trying to do the best by the kids, but the entire situation just creates hostility between the former spouses. One gets the kids, the money, and usually the most important belongings. And the judge expects the former spouses to get along on behalf of the kids. Good luck with that....
 
LoPo said:
I'm a happily married guy for 13 years but this post is pretty true. Unless you absolutely can't live without her, don't do it.

I think the hardest part of the whole thing is the age we live in. So many freaking distractions lead to bad thoughts. I'm not talking about porn, but just so much to do which keeps people from doing the things they need to do. Instead of going places and doing things, you watch people go places and do things on TV, social media, etc. And of course all those people seem cooler, hotter, more interesting.

This post is also true when it comes to kids. Used to be that everything was shared and the "village helped to raise the kid." Now, the village is overpriced daycare and everything is so expensive. So if it doesn't work out with the wife, **** is too expensive plus the kids will suffer with divorce. I wouldn't want life any other way, but it's freaking tough.

Moral of the story - get married if money isn't an issue. If money might be an issue, get married only if you can't live without her.
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Mmmmm...porn.
 
Suppression orders. Rumour has it that Australia's top ranking Catholic cleric has been convicted of child sex abuse but you wont hear that from Australian media due to a suppression order. Bastard wont spend an hour behind bars.
 
Rubashov said:
Suppression orders. Rumour has it that Australia's top ranking Catholic cleric has been convicted of child sex abuse but you wont hear that from Australian media due to a suppression order. Bastard wont spend an hour behind bars.
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Here's a Washington Post article on the suppression. Hard to believe that such a thing exists in a modern democracy like Australia.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/life...c0eb68-fe27-11e8-83c0-b06139e540e5_story.html

Fortunately with the internet you should be able to find stuff out.
 
colton said:
Here's a Washington Post article on the suppression. Hard to believe that such a thing exists in a modern democracy like Australia.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/life...c0eb68-fe27-11e8-83c0-b06139e540e5_story.html

Fortunately with the internet you should be able to find stuff out.
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Yeah read the post article today. The ruling makes no sense. The conviction on the other hand seemed likely, he hired Robert Richter a leading criminal barrister, Marxist and significant figure on the left instead of one of the many Catholic conservatives he could have hired.

His sentencing will be interesting, the suppression order is likely to prevent his sentencing becoming a circus, i wager there will still be 500-1000 protesters outside the court screaming for him to never see the light of day again. If anybody deserves the maximum sentence its him, position of trust he'd held in the community, using that position to protect other paedophiles, It will be interesting.

And good on the Victoria Police and the Department of Public Prosecutions for having the balls to go after him.
 
JazzGal said:
You should be the woman. At least you only have to deal with the emotional fallout. But it does suck for everyone. Big design flaw.
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I know you have your reasons for hating men, but where I stand and see, most men see the issues women have to deal with and understand and try our best to accommodate those issues. We see the gene lottery luck we were born with, but I'm younger than you and can only read or hear about a bygone age where things were different. I can't understand or relate fully.
 
For instance the old men control the finances thing. Total nonsense. I tell people the best thing I did when I got married was turning my check over to my wife's bank routing number. I'm not even listed on our main account or her others. She wants to pay the bills so I "let" her. But you grew up in a day and age where that sort of small thing was unacceptable to many, and women weren't allowed. That's not the world I live in so I can't relate.
 
idestroyedthetoilet said:
I know you have your reasons for hating men, but where I stand and see, most men see the issues women have to deal with and understand and try our best to accommodate those issues. We see the gene lottery luck we were born with, but I'm younger than you and can only read or hear about a bygone age where things were different. I can't understand or relate fully.
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Wait, I hate men?

And I'm not 80.
 
One Brow said:
I'm not sure if you are trolling or not, but I wanted to say I have never thought of JazzGal as expressing hatred for men.
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My apology to @JazzGal if my way of stating an observation came off too strongly. You have an agenda history of being against male dominance. I was merely trying to state my opinion and perspective.

I don't see the current human condition of male dominance the same way you do and cannot relate because I haven't experienced the same, that's all. No trolling a sweet gal, why would I?
 
idestroyedthetoilet said:
My apology to @JazzGal if my way of stating an observation came off too strongly. You have an agenda history of being against male dominance. I was merely trying to state my opinion and perspective.

I don't see the current human condition of male dominance the same way you do and cannot relate because I haven't experienced the same, that's all. No trolling a sweet gal, why would I?
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What you're saying is diplomatic and very nice.

But at the same time what you're saying is that if someone is stepping on my toe and I ask them to stop I am somehow anti-whatever it is they are.
 
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