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The Official Welcome Back Rasp/Trout and Hopper/Taint Thread

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I just thunk up another VICTIM fable, eh? Seein as how this here is a general discussion forum, and all, I thought I would post this here literary submission for comments, constructive criticism, and general feedback, eh?

Actually, it's not quite a fable yet, but I figure that, with some help, maybe I could turn it into one, ya know? It's actually a true tale.

A few weeks back, I was down to the 7/11 store, thumbin through the porno mags, and some candyass clerk walked up to me, see? Then it kinda went like this here:

Candyass Clerk: Can I help you, sir?

Me: Yeah, sho nuff. Hustle on over to that cooler there and brang me back a 40, eh?

CC: You've been here two hours, are you going to buy a magazine?

Me: I dunno. I aint seen em all yet. Mebbe, mebbe not. I thought I told you to brang me a 40, eh? I didn't mean tomorrow, fool.

CC: I see you've stamped out about 40 cigarettes on our new carpet.

Me: Yeah, I had to. That's what ya git for bein a cheap-*** that don't even put no ashtrays in your browsin section, see?

CC: Are you going to pay for all those cigarettes you've smoked?

Me: Pay!? I don't think so! Homey don't play dat. They was, like, just sittin here on the shelf, so naturally I assumed the were on the house. Complimentary, ya know?

CC: I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the police.

Me: Don't go tryin that, now, boy. I will file a complaint against you for harrassment.

CC: Go ahead. I'm calling them right now.

Well, so, ya see, it's all purty obvious, aint it? He just hauled off and MADE me go upside his head with the piece of lead pipe I always carry. Then, as very minimal compensation for the abusive harrassment he had subjected me to, I took a big-*** jar of Slim Jims and walked out the door.

I figured he got off easy, but, ya know what? Turns out, the police put out a warrant for MY arrest. Can you BELIEVE that crap, I ax ya!? Here he was the one harrassin me, and I git blamed somehow. They just aint no justice, I tellya. Now at least once a night I have to drop through the trap door of my 8' x 12' Deluxe Model 1948 Silverado travel trailer and crawl into the woods for a good long spell when I see the pigs comin. VICTIMIZED, yet again.

I figure with a little work, there could be some kinda moral to this tale. Can anyone help?
 
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The way I see it, Hopper is being targeted because he simply irritates people which is understandable. His posting style irritates me as well.
 
Use the quote tags for text that is from another source, whether it is from a website, a newspaper article, a blog, another poster's comments, etc.

Do not use the quote tags for your own words.

If your post consists of content that comes from another source in addition your own comments, put the material from the other source in quote tags. You should also include a link indicating the source of those comments, unless it is from another poster where that is identified within the quote. The comments in your own words that you might add do not have quote tags.

Here are a few examples.

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Scores of tobacco retailers in the U.S. are taking advantage of a federal tax loophole to offer deep discounts on roll-your-own cigarettes. But the practice is attracting scrutiny from regulators and cigarette manufacturers.
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https://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704913704575453584132202718.html

It amazes me that anybody can even afford to buy cigarettes these days, the taxes make the cost so high. I can see where something like this would be quite popular.

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C l u t c H 385 said:
Try to help somebody out and this is the thanks ya get. Sheesh.
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just my opinion here, but this posts seems a bit insincere to me.

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This is a bit of a weird subject, but it's something that I'm suffering from just now. I remember that back in my first year of university, I fell asleep on the train quite a lot. It was never something a meant to do, rather something that just happened. I've never actually seen falling asleep on the train as much of a problem, I'm not scared of missing a stop as you always wake up whenever the train comes to a halt, nor am I scared about some perceived social stigma.
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https://onebrow.blogspot.com/

I'm glad there's no needless worrying about some perceived social stigma.
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In case you missed the example of quote tags posted earlier, here's a reminder:

they are brackets a set of brackets [ ] containing the word QUOTE at the beginning of the quoted material and containing /QUOTE at the end of the quoted material.
 
Marcus said:
The way I see it, Hopper is being targeted because he simply irritates people which is understandable. His posting style irritates me as well.
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Well, that's more than enough reason, aint it, Marcus?

Edit: Damn, Marcus, ya went and done it again. But the time I had posted this, the quote of you that I was usin had changed. When I started, it only said this here.

Marcus said:
The way I see it, Hopper is being targeted because he simply irritates people
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See Moevi, fo I post sometimes, I sez it aloud ta be sho it sounds just write. So when I axually gets to typing it up, I be quotin myself. Quote box seems ta be in order in those cases, I reckon.
 
Um, maybe a stupid question/hypothetical, but here goes:

Let's say that Hopper is banned 12 hours from now. Ok. So long, Hopper. Sincerely I'll miss you (though not the odd dialect schtick you do).

What's to stop him from simply making a new account 5 minutes after his "ban" and doing the same thing (posting and posting and posting. Oh, and posting. Did I mention he'll be posting more?)? That being the case, why not just NOT ban the guy? I mean he'll be back anyway, people.

Keep posting, Hoppy.
 
chemdude1232 said:
What's to stop him from simply making a new account 5 minutes after his "ban" and doing the same thing (posting and posting and posting.
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Wouldn't work, eh, Chem? They would know me by my smell, I figure.

chemdude1232 said:
. So long, Hopper. Sincerely I'll miss you (though not the odd dialect schtick you do).
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Well, Chem, I kinda wish we could engage in some serious discussion, like the good old days, but the new rules here seem to pretty much rule out that prospect, so....
 
Aint, even if you are being unfairly persecuted, is it really so hard to figure out how to get around it? It's not that hard. Everyone here has to conform on some level. Even the people defending you have conformed. The problem is you don't like the box. I might not like things about the box either, but it's their box, and it's nowhere near as confusing as you make it out to be. If you want to fight a war against a box, have at it. But you know perfectly well, as do the mods, that you're fighting a war against a box, not your misunderstanding about the dimensions of the box.
 
Once upon a time, at BYU, there was a boy who liked to wear a cloak. He would wear his hobbit inspired cloak to school and sing peacefully while other students walked to their classes. Many soon became annoyed with Cloak Boy and his singing of mid-evil chants, but he never meant no harm, he just wanted to sing. The students then got scared of Cloak boy and his unorthodox way of passing time. They said his singing on campus wasn't normal and turned on him. The called the cops and said he was breaking "rules". The cops came and told Cloak Boy to move on and quit singing or he would be arrested and thrown to the dungeon. Although this Cloak Boy still desperately wanted to sing, certain "pong monglers" and "pee cobblers" of the like, prohibited him from doing so because it was "bizarre" and "annoying". However, Cloak Boy was supported by many on campus. He soon became a real hero and to this day the legend of Cloak Boy lives on.
 
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