kiri.de.carlos
Well-Known Member
Guy: I want your body
Girl: you cant have it, it's being used for scientific research!
Girl: you cant have it, it's being used for scientific research!
Last edited:
A Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
- Thread starter kiri.de.carlos
- Start date
isn't that supposed to be "you can't have it, . . . ."
kiri.de.carlos
Well-Known Member
If you ever get cold just stand in the corner for a little bit.
They're usually around 90 degrees.
Sent from my VS990 using JazzFanz mobile app
They're usually around 90 degrees.
Sent from my VS990 using JazzFanz mobile app
Joe Bagadonuts
Well-Known Member
Lots of them are 270 degrees. Ouch!
kiri.de.carlos
Well-Known Member
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says "uno, dos..." *poof*...he disappeared with out a tres.
Sent from my VS990 using JazzFanz mobile app
Sent from my VS990 using JazzFanz mobile app
MVP
Well-Known Member
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”
Man ~ “That’s nice.”
Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”
Man ~ “No, thanks.”
Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”
Man ~ “OK, how much?”
Boy ~ “$250?
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”
an ~ “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy ~ “$750?
Man ~ “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy ~ “$1,000?
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”
Man ~ “That’s nice.”
Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”
Man ~ “No, thanks.”
Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”
Man ~ “OK, how much?”
Boy ~ “$250?
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”
an ~ “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy ~ “$750?
Man ~ “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy ~ “$1,000?
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
dedicated to Kiri...
You need a lot of Monet to buy Degas to make this Van Gogh.
You need a lot of Monet to buy Degas to make this Van Gogh.
dedicated to Kiri...
You need a lot of Monet to buy Degas to make this Van Gogh.
Negged that's horribly bad
J
JAZZGASM
Guest
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
Pick a cod, any cod.
They say people with big shoes have a big penis
They say people who drive big cars are compensating for having a small penis
It now makes sense why people are so afraid of clowns.
They say people who drive big cars are compensating for having a small penis
It now makes sense why people are so afraid of clowns.
Desert Hermit
New Member
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks why the long face?
A lady placed her accordion on the back seat of her car and drove off to a music lesson. Along the way she remembered something she needed to buy and so parked at a local mall. With the accordion in mind, she carefully locked her car and started walking to the entrance. Suddenly she heard the sound of breaking glass. "My accordion!" she cried, and rushed back to the car--but it was too late. Someone had deposited three more accordions in her back seat.
I played the accordion from 6-12 years old (parents couldn't afford a piano). Still wish I had it and could play it.
Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s check book!”