The Thriller
Well-Known Member
I think the fact that we're all a bunch of dudes talking about this is too bad.
Thing is, men can have an orgasim pretty much every time they have partnered sex or solo sex. Women aren't in the same boat. And while there are better and lesser orgasims for men I get the very strong impression that the spectrum for female orgaism is much much larger.
So while we have guys saying it's more important to eat tropical fruit and have a loving relationship we're forgetting that so many women never have an orgasim with their partner. Many of those same women have a very difficult time having an orgasim alone, if they're even comfortable putting in the required effort. So it's easy for us to say sex is overrated, but for them what's being said is that their orgasims are not important or necessary to the success of the relationship. I disagree. It is monumentally important to make sure your female partner has satisfying sex at least once in a while.
Then there is the understated way in which mutually satisfying sex creates very strong bonds. Again, as us guys talk about this I think it's lost because I don't think it works the same for us. But, if you can take your female partner to new levels of sexual satisfaction that she has never had with anyone else it will create a very powerful bond. The key is that for most women they won't get there unless they are already in a secure relationship and they feel very comfortable with their self and their partner. So if that foundation has been set and then you carry her over the threshold, so to speak, you have definitely taken your relationship to a new level. There are no amount of trips to the San Diego Zoo that will replace that.
So banging for the sake of getting off, yeah, overrated. But putting in the selfless and compassionate thought and effort to truly satisfy your partner as part of your long term committed relationship...not underrated at all, no way it could be. It is extremely important.
Nice personal attacks. You never miss a chance to get digs in, do you?
Nevertheless, it was a good post and I don't necessarily disagree with it.
However....
If sex and marriage is so great, then why are so many Americans running away from it? If marriage is so great, why have most industrialized countries practically ended it? So many more people are finding satisfying happiness in meaningful jobs, careers, education, and other means. We are no longer a limited, stuck in a village/farm, zero opportunities people. Even when you look at the LDS population. More women are going to school, more men are finding careers, and even Mormons are marrying later (or staying unmarried). Is this a good trend or bad, I don't know.
To me, I have some serious doubts about that whole sex and marriage and kids stuff. I hope it can be incredibly satisfying. And I don't doubt for a second what you said about sincere loving sex can be very underrated in a long-term committed relationship. However, is it really any more satisfying than having a good career? Or freedom? If it is then why are so many getting out of these relationships?
For me, I'm all about freedom, traveling, having money, and my career. I've dated girls. Cali, Arizona, Idaho, even foreign. Some more serious than others. Utah County? Been there done that. it was sometimes fun. Mostly annoying, stressful, petty, wasteful, and took away from my freedom.
IMO, sex and "love" in general is overrated. If marriage or great long-term committed sex and kids occur in my travels or career/life, cool. If not, I doubt I'm missing on much. Flame away.
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