Why can't people who leave the LDS church move on?

[LogGrad98]

Without my parents', and others, financial support I have no idea what I would have done while I was undergoing cancer treatment. Long-term disability payed 60% of my salary, my wife wasn't working and really couldn't due to my care and caring for our 3 small children. If it weren't for my parents....wow I have no idea. As it was the bills drove us to a bankruptcy, but we likely would have lost our house in the middle of it all. Scares me to death to think about it. So I will be there for my kids if they have such a need. And anyone else I can help. I remember a man in my parents' ward came to a fund-raiser some friends of mine put on for us. We were sitting on about $25k in medical at that time that we had to pay (total treatment was near a half mill...thank God I had decent insurance, but even with that we ended up with huge bills). This guy came and bought a rice krispie square or something and handed them a $20 and said keep the change, then he handed them an envelope. In it was a check for $1000, which there was no way he could afford. I have done all I could since to be able to pay it forward when the opportunities come along.

 

[♪alt13]

That's ********. So if my dad wants me to go to his alma-mater, and threatens me with funding if I don't go, then he can't be judged? If my parents want me to play football in high school, and use my funding as incentive, they shouldn't be judged?

If my father is a incestual pedophiliac, and says that I'll only get money for college if I 'obey' him, then he shouldn't be judged?

Absolute horse-manure.

If my father was this I wouldn't want his money. Sounds like you have other **** going on with your father that just isn't ****ing cool. You don't need your dads money bro, **** him.

 

[b_line]

Without my parents', and others, financial support I have no idea what I would have done while I was undergoing cancer treatment. Long-term disability payed 60% of my salary, my wife wasn't working and really couldn't due to my care and caring for our 3 small children. If it weren't for my parents....wow I have no idea. As it was the bills drove us to a bankruptcy, but we likely would have lost our house in the middle of it all. Scares me to death to think about it. So I will be there for my kids if they have such a need. And anyone else I can help. I remember a man in my parents' ward came to a fund-raiser some friends of mine put on for us. We were sitting on about $25k in medical at that time that we had to pay (total treatment was near a half mill...thank God I had decent insurance, but even with that we ended up with huge bills). This guy came and bought a rice krispie square or something and handed them a $20 and said keep the change, then he handed them an envelope. In it was a check for $1000, which there was no way he could afford. I have done all I could since to be able to pay it forward when the opportunities come along.

Couldn't you have just cooked blue meth?

Joking aside, that was very nice of him to do that. True Christlike person right there

 

[GVC]

That is pretty lame of your parents but it sounds like you are crying about it way more than you should. This is common in almost every family. Non-religious or religious. If you make a choice they don't agree with and you are over 18 they can cut you off financially without a second thought.


And to be honest it should be that way. If my kids drop out of college no way in hell am I helping them with cars, phones or rent. I'm not going to finance my kids dumb decisions. You chose a different path than your parents wanted so they cut you off financially. Boo hoo...... that happens everyday. Its their money and their choice.

Did you even read his post? The money they withheld was not their money. It was money given to pickled by a wealthy uncle. His parents stole that money because he decided not to be Mormon.

 

[NUMBERICA]

I think part of it, from my experience, is feeling like they have wasted years of their lives on something they felt, in the end, was deceptive, and so there is a level of bitterness that will take years in turn to resolve itself. They are lashing out as a way to relieve that pressure and empty feeling of betrayal.

There's also the bitterness of having your family, community, and people you grew up with largely pitted against you and rightfully resenting that such a force naturally does that.

 

[NUMBERICA]

Interesting take. Explain.

Impossible. Like asking a dog to do your taxes.

 

[asian_roger]

Without my parents', and others, financial support I have no idea what I would have done while I was undergoing cancer treatment. Long-term disability payed 60% of my salary, my wife wasn't working and really couldn't due to my care and caring for our 3 small children. If it weren't for my parents....wow I have no idea. As it was the bills drove us to a bankruptcy, but we likely would have lost our house in the middle of it all. Scares me to death to think about it. So I will be there for my kids if they have such a need. And anyone else I can help. I remember a man in my parents' ward came to a fund-raiser some friends of mine put on for us. We were sitting on about $25k in medical at that time that we had to pay (total treatment was near a half mill...thank God I had decent insurance, but even with that we ended up with huge bills). This guy came and bought a rice krispie square or something and handed them a $20 and said keep the change, then he handed them an envelope. In it was a check for $1000, which there was no way he could afford. I have done all I could since to be able to pay it forward when the opportunities come along.

Seriously though, that's what families are for. What an incredibly nice stranger too!

 

[pickledXgrandma]

That is pretty lame of your parents but it sounds like you are crying about it way more than you should. This is common in almost every family. Non-religious or religious. If you make a choice they don't agree with and you are over 18 they can cut you off financially without a second thought.


And to be honest it should be that way. If my kids drop out of college no way in hell am I helping them with cars, phones or rent. I'm not going to finance my kids dumb decisions. You chose a different path than your parents wanted so they cut you off financially. Boo hoo...... that happens everyday. Its their money and their choice.

Awww Beantown,Beantown.... You are the exact reason I thought twice before wanting to share my experiences. My parents were INHIBITING me from STILL attending college. I wasn't dropping out, I was doing everything a responsible young male should be doing at that age. If you have the ability to help your children get through college and they are doing what they should be doing, wouldn't you help them out? Or would you rather potentially turn them into a poverty ridden teenager for not wanting to advertise your beliefs somewhere for two years? I don't understand your reasoning and you seem like the type of person that I will never understand, so I will probably not waste my time past this post with you....hopefully.

 

[pickledXgrandma]

^That's a great post and very telling about your personality and where you're at in life... meant as a compliment.

You didn't ask, but my advice is not to get too bitter towards God (whether He exists or not) and keep doing your thing. You're still very young and you may end up atheist, agnostic, Mormon, Baptist, whatever..... just be a good dude and don't shut the door on God completely.

Thanks PKM, I always enjoy your advice on this board. As a younger guy, its sometimes hard for me to find people in my life that are older than me and can share wisdom with me that I need.
But I am definitely not bitter towards God, I am mature enough to know that is all just human error and the human way. I find radical religious just as dumb as radical atheists, I guess I am just too much of a factual person. I can't argue there is no god because there is no proof there is no god. I cannot argue there is a god because I have seen no proof there is one.

 

[♪alt13]

Awww Beantown,Beantown.... You are the exact reason I thought twice before wanting to share my experiences. My parents were INHIBITING me from STILL attending college. I wasn't dropping out, I was doing everything a responsible young male should be doing at that age. If you have the ability to help your children get through college and they are doing what they should be doing, wouldn't you help them out? Or would you rather potentially turn them into a poverty ridden teenager for not wanting to advertise your beliefs somewhere for two years? I don't understand your reasoning and you seem like the type of person that I will never understand, so I will probably not waste my time past this post with you....hopefully.

As someone that did not have any financial help from my family maybe I can explain where Beans bitterness comes from>(I could be way off the mark though)

I have always paid my own bills. It drives me crazy when people in their twenties whine that their parents aren't supporting them. Imo you have every right to be pissed at your parents but to use your lack of access to a trust fund as an excuse not to attend college is bs. There are plenty of people that have had no other choice and have gotten it done irregardless. I hope to go back to school this winter. I will be paying out of pocket and I have a family to support.
The reason I haven't completed a college education is because I didn't, period. Excuses are like *** holes everybody has one and they all stink.

 

[pickledXgrandma]

As someone that did not have any financial help from my family maybe I can explain where Beans bitterness comes from>(I could be way off the mark though)

I have always paid my own bills. It drives me crazy when people in their twenties whine that their parents aren't supporting them. Imo you have every right to be pissed at your parents but to use your lack of access to a trust fund as an excuse not to attend college is bs. There are plenty of people that have had no other choice and have gotten it done irregardless. I hope to go back to school this winter. I will be paying out of pocket and I have a family to support.
The reason I haven't completed a college education is because I didn't, period. Excuses are like *** holes everybody has one and they all stink.

I really hope I didn't come off as whiny about the money for education, as my fund ran out halfway through this last year. So I competed in Skills USA and won a scholarship to pay for my last semester. I don't want to come off as the person that wont go to college because its not paid for as I have been doing what I can to continue to attend (scholarship award). I'm taking two years off right now to save and go back because that fund only covered two years. I realize that I was extremely blessed with that fund, but I am really not the type of person that I think I am being portrayed as...?...

 

[♪alt13]

I really hope I didn't come off as whiny about the money for education, as my fund ran out halfway through this last year. So I competed in Skills USA and won a scholarship to pay for my last semester. I don't want to come off as the person that wont go to college because its not paid for as I have been doing what I can to continue to attend (scholarship award). I'm taking two years off right now to save and go back because that fund only covered two years. I realize that I was extremely blessed with that fund, but I am really not the type of person that I think I am being portrayed as...?...

I really didn't mean to pigeon hole you. I think you sound like you probably have a good handle on your life. I just assumed that when you said that your parents were inhibiting you from attending college that you were using it as an excuse. I have had people that were damn near 30 attempt to solicit my pity because daddy stopped paying for their cell phone. If laughter counts as pity they got it.