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More death threats -- Woman take video of her walk through New York

Gameface said:
I think GVC covered it pretty well already, but...

When out in public places it should be expected that you'll encounter varying degrees of intelligent life, and that on occasion those intelligent life-forms might attempt to make contact. It is each person's prerogative how they will respond to these efforts, but regardless, we should all put on our big boy and big girl pants and be prepared to deal with it.
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To me, putting on the grown-up pants means taking a moment before I insert myself into someone's life, even just for a greeting.

It's interesting how focused posters seems to be on how others should react to them.
 
moevillini said:
First of all, complete apples to oranges. Why does it seem to be an equivalent situation to you?
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They seem similar in quality, but not in quantity. Both are requests of other people that you do something you don't want to do, the chess game is just a bigger time investment. Sure, greeting are much more customary than chess games, but I don't see that as removing the imposition. Outside of the level of time and that you feel one is customary while the other is not, why are they different to you?

moevillini said:
Secondly, you certainly can do what you want to encourage me to join you, and I am free to ignore you completely, decline the invitation, or join you. And you are free to interpret my response however you choose. Why do you think you would feel entitled to have me play? And why do you think I would concern myself with your reaction to my response?
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In the hypothetical, I would have felt entitled to you playing because that what everyone does, or because it helps build a stronger community, or some similar reason. You should not have to concern yourself with my reaction to your response (in the particular case of men speaking to women on the street, the women don't have this luxury). My point is that the onus is on me in the initial approach to be reasonably certain that the attempt is welcome at all.

moevillini said:
In the situation I described, I expected a response. Why do you think I would feel entitled to a response? Expecting something to happen is NOT the same as thinking I am entitled to have it happen.
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After 5 years of not getting a response, you still expect one? I find that hard to believe. I don't think you are saying "Good Morning" every day for five years and still expecting a response. Dig deeper.

moevillini said:
If I throw a ball up in the air, I expect it to come down. That does not mean I feel entitled to have it come down. If you think that it does, then your definition of "entitled" is very different from mine.
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Perhaps entitled does not describe you. What does?
 
One Brow said:
To me, putting on the grown-up pants means taking a moment before I insert myself into someone's life, even just for a greeting.

It's interesting how focused posters seems to be on how others should react to them.
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Funny how you're reading it. No response is demanded or expected. I already said I don't catcall and I don't typically approach women in public. I probably follow your standard of assessing non-verbal cues to an extreme.

I'm not defending my own behaviour in this thread. Not at all. I'm exceptionally respectful of other people in public and typically don't initiate any interactions with strangers, with men or women.

I just don't think it's reasonable to condemn people for saying "How you doin'."

I don't think a single person has expressed an opinion on how a women should respond to a "How you doin'" greeting. Other than to possibly say that going out in public and acting in an anti-social way is, well, anti-social.
 
One Brow said:
Your right to do so? Absolutely. My whole point has been about considering your effects on others, not what you have a right to do.
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So basically you're saying I can look at boobs but just don't be a creep about it? Cool.
 
One Brow said:
They seem similar in quality, but not in quantity. Both are requests of other people that you do something you don't want to do, the chess game is just a bigger time investment. Sure, greeting are much more customary than chess games, but I don't see that as removing the imposition. Outside of the level of time and that you feel one is customary while the other is not, why are they different to you?
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An in-person encounter is not the same as a post on a message board that you have no way of knowing whether or not I've even seen it.


One Brow said:
In the hypothetical, I would have felt entitled to you playing because that what everyone does, or because it helps build a stronger community, or some similar reason. You should not have to concern yourself with my reaction to your response (in the particular case of men speaking to women on the street, the women don't have this luxury). My point is that the onus is on me in the initial approach to be reasonably certain that the attempt is welcome at all.
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When you're at the elevator and the door opens and there's one person already in the elevator, do you acknowledge that person? Or do you act as though they either don't exist or are invisible?

How do others react if you're the one that's already on the elevator and they're the ones getting on? Is there any way you can generally categorize the responses - the percentage that acknowledge your presence in some way vs. those that seem as though they don't see you at all?

Do you feel that people just avoid looking at you at all?

One Brow said:
After 5 years of not getting a response, you still expect one? I find that hard to believe. I don't think you are saying "Good Morning" every day for five years and still expecting a response. Dig deeper.
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No, I don't expect a response - I've certainly learned not to expect a response from this particular person. But if we do make eye-contact in passing (which happens more often than not) I still automatically smile and nod, though I don't say anything. He just continues to act as though he didn't see me. I don't take offense or anything, it just seems a bit odd and contrary to how most people would react.



One Brow said:
Perhaps entitled does not describe you. What does?
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n/c
 
Gameface said:
I'm not defending my own behaviour in this thread..
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When I was a teenager, there were times when my friends and I would be driving, we'd see some girls walking down the road, and we'd honk and catcall. I have also had the same thing done to me by girls driving by, when I used to work as a landscaper during the summer. Never seemed like that big of a deal, but I think most men figure out by their early/mid-twenties that even though some women like being hooted over, most probably don't.
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I remember one time when I was riding in the back of my older brother's truck with a couple of workers, and I catcalled a car full of girls. Of course, my asshat of a brother yanks the truck to turn into a 7-eleven right behind them just after I howled, and parked next to their car as they were getting out. My brother and his friend just sat in the truck laughing their asses off, and even though the girls seemed to take it as a compliment at first, it became awkward in a hurry, and I remember being very embarrassed. Needless to say, that was a long time ago, and I certainly haven't acted like that in a long time.
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I doubt my friends were all that different from most, and I'd be willing to bet that most people have some kind of a similar experience as a teen/early twenties, and many of the people making a federal case out of this are likely hypocrites.
 
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Gameface said:
Funny how you're reading it. No response is demanded or expected. I already said I don't catcall and I don't typically approach women in public. I probably follow your standard of assessing non-verbal cues to an extreme.
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I find all of that quite believable.

Gameface said:
I just don't think it's reasonable to condemn people for saying "How you doin'."
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I don't think that saying context matters, and that a grown person should take responsibility when they initiate a conversation, is condemnation.

Gameface said:
I don't think a single person has expressed an opinion on how a women should respond to a "How you doin'" greeting. Other than to possibly say that going out in public and acting in an anti-social way is, well, anti-social.
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Well, I've seen a couple of comments that certainly say if a person gets annoyed or upset at being thrust into an unwelcome conversation (however small), it's the problem of the person being approached, and not the one doing the approaching. However, I find even the notion that people need to be prepared to deal with it at all to be presumptuous. Our culture should be about people being respectful.
 
moevillini said:
An in-person encounter is not the same as a post on a message board that you have no way of knowing whether or not I've even seen it.



When you're at the elevator and the door opens and there's one person already in the elevator, do you acknowledge that person? Or do you act as though they either don't exist or are invisible?

How do others react if you're the one that's already on the elevator and they're the ones getting on? Is there any way you can generally categorize the responses - the percentage that acknowledge your presence in some way vs. those that seem as though they don't see you at all?

Do you feel that people just avoid looking at you at all?



No, I don't expect a response - I've certainly learned not to expect a response from this particular person. But if we do make eye-contact in passing (which happens more often than not) I still automatically smile and nod, though I don't say anything. He just continues to act as though he didn't see me. I don't take offense or anything, it just seems a bit odd and contrary to how most people would react.





n/c
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In-person, you have no way of knowing whether the gentlemen in question heard you. Why is that relevant?

On the elevator, I take a moment to read them before I say anything. So, sometimes I will say something, and sometimes not.

I don't feel like people overlook me generally.

"n/c" = "no comment"?
 
freakazoid said:
I doubt my friends were all that different from most, and I'd be willing to bet that most people have some kind of a similar experience as a teen/early twenties, and many of the people making a federal case out of this are likely hypocrites.
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There's no chance that they could be feeling regret over past actions? They must be hypocrites?
 
There is a trend on Twitter called "Menimist" that is obviously poking fun at the over-the-top feminist movement, and I find it hilarious. Between that, and the whole GamerGate thing I found out about, it seems like the internet has one side of loud-mouthed boys calling the girls mean names across the proverbial dance floor while the other side has a bunch of loud-mouthed girls screaming back! Much like middle school dances, they're all in packs across the room from each other but no one in the middle dancing. All those losers need to learn how to dance!

Got to keep on dancin', keep on dancin'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob9sDpmRuqc
 
One Brow said:
While I wasn't a cat-caller, I do have some regrets over my youth.
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You once said hi to someone without getting a non verbal cue first?
 
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